Trading Places
by snickerdoodle131515
Summary: When a prank of the Marauders goes badly wrong, the Marauders get trapped inside of each other! And everyone soon starts to wonder about their reversed personalities, and wonder if there's a way out of this. COMPLETED. Chapters edited
1. Nightime Wanderings

Trading Places

By snickerdoodle131515

Summary: The Marauders drink a weird potion and get trapped inside of each other's bodies; so crazy, weird, hilarious things are sure to happen!

Characters: James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Lily Evans, Peter Pettigrew, Snivellus, and many Professors. Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They belong to J.K. Rowling.

Chapter One: Night Time Wanderings

It was a rare occasion when you would find any of the Marauders other then Remus in the library. But today was different, and the Marauders were scheming for their next prank on the Slytherins. Remus, who knew the library like the back of his hand, was flipping through a very musty old potions book that they had stolen from the restricted section of the library in the middle of the night.

" Here it is!" Remus said excitedly. He turned the book so that the others could see it. James, Sirius, and Peter leaned forward to read the directions on how to prepare the potion. Remus held his wand over the book, and the book lit up in the dark room so that they could all read it.

" It looks—complicated," said James thoughtfully. He pushed his glasses up higher on his nose, and said, " But it'll be worth it. Snivelly won't even know what's going on,"

" How long does it take to make?" questioned Peter, eager to have a say in the conversation.

" A week," Sirius answered, pointing at a spot on the page. " So, we'll be able to control all of Snape's actions for a whole day?"

" That's what it says," murmured Remus as he began scribbling down the ingredients on a slip of parchment. " We can find most of these from the student's store closet."

" A bezoar?" muttered Sirius. " Where the heck are we going to get that? We'll have to steal it from the Potions store cupboard."

Peter shuddered at this. " What if we get caught?"

James snorted. " We won't get caught. Besides, Remus wouldn't tell on us, would you, Moony?"

Remus glared disapprovingly, and fingered his Prefects badge.

" Oh, come on Moony!" cried Sirius. " You've stolen potions ingredients yourself when we were trying to find a cure for your lycanthropy!"

" Keep it down!" Remus hissed, staring frantically around the library for eavesdroppers

" Relax, Remus," said Sirius casually. " There's no one over here." Remus briskly folded up the parchment and stuck it inside his pocket. They all rose silently from their chairs and headed toward the exit, when Peter tripped over his chair. He reached for something to steady his balance, and grabbed the hood of Sirius' cloak. Peter fell to the ground, dragging Sirius with him, who was choking from having the cloth around his neck pulled so tightly. They hit the ground with a loud thud, and Sirius began screaming.

" What the--?" Sirius roared. " What was that for?" Sirius stood and dusted his robes off with his left hand, while pulling Peter up with the other.

" Sorry, Sirius!" Peter gasped. " It's just so dark—I didn't see the chair!"

" Well, we'd better get moving," said James urgently. " Sirius' cursing could probably be heard from Dumbledore's office!"

Sirius and the others nodded, and James lifted his invisibility cloak over the other three boy's heads. They silently walked towards the door, and James was about to turn the door handle when the door shot open, causing the four of them to double back, startled.

To their horror, the nasty tempered caretaker and his nosy cat, Mrs. Norris emerged in the doorway. Filch was whispering to his cat. " They're here somewhere, my sweet. I know I heard Black's voice--"

As Filch moved away from the doorway in search of them, they silently swept past, being careful on how to fit all four of them through the doorway without making any noise, and trying to all fit though without the cloak coming off.

They ran along the stone hallways, their footsteps echoing dully. Once they had put a good distance between themselves and Filch, they stopped, panting, and leaned against a wall.

" That was close," gasped James, panting for breath. Sirius fidgeted uncomfortably under James' gaze. James reached into his pocket and took out the Marauder's Map, a map of the castle that they had created in their fifth year. James tapped the parchment with his wand, and whispered, " I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

As James' wand touched the parchment and he uttered the incantation, spider- like words and illustrations filled up every corner of the page, pouring from the tip of his wand. The heading read, " Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, Purveyors to the aid of Magical Mischief- Makers are proud to present the Marauder's Map."

As usual, whenever any of them read the map, a goofy smile crept onto their faces. They had created this map. Had studied every detail, person, and every secret passageway, and wrote it onto this map. They were all highly doubtful that anyone but themselves ever learned so much about the castle, Including Professor Dumbledore and Filch.

Their eyes scanned the corridors, and came to rest on four mini illustrations of themselves, labeled James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. There was no one else on this floor prowling in the night, Filch and Mrs. Norris had returned to Filch's office, all the Professors seemed to be in their Living corridors and Peeves seemed to be terrorizing the Trophy Room.

Knowing that the cost was clear, they walked silently through the hallways where they had spent nearly seven years of their lives. The foursome walked down a dozen staircases, going lower and lower in the castle, taking the route that they used to get their Potions classroom. Peter was continually checking the map, and was so absorbed in making sure that he would occasionally have to be steered out of the way of a wall by the others.

They reached the dungeons, and Peter informed the Marauders that their Potions teacher was asleep. This was the perfect opportunity to steal the ingredients they needed for the potion. James opened the door, and held it open as they all entered. He then closed the door quietly behind them. They were in the large, dark, and cold Potions classroom where they had spent countless miserable hours with the Slytherins. Their Potions teacher was Professor Horace Slughorn, Head of Slytherin House. The Marauders were pleasantly surprised to discover that the door to Professor Slughorn's office was unlocked. They crept silently inside, and explored the office. The room was even colder and darker than the classroom, with a more noticeable draft. They shivered under the cloak, and James pulled it off of the four of them, as they were safe as long as the Professor remained sleeping. Remus waved his wand, and the candles around the office lit, lighting the shabby office. Sirius was delighted to find that their potions essays were left on the desk. Sirius seated himself in the chair behind the desk, leaned the throne- like chair onto its hind legs, and grabbed the pile of essays. Some were graded, others were not. Sirius flipped through them until he found any of interest.

" Oy! James!" Sirius exclaimed. "Lily aced this one!"

James grinned. " Does that surprise you?" Lily Evans was James' girlfriend, and was particularly favored by Slughorn because of her talents in Potions. She was Head Girl, and James was Head Boy. They had started dating after Lily realized that James was no longer an arrogant prat, and when James asked her out for the millionth time, she finally said yes, coming to discover that James was actually a great guy. And this was some improvement, as Lily had stubbornly insisted for years that she would rather go out with the giant squid than James. Lily was a pretty, fiery red head with emerald green eyes that James had had a crush on since their first year, and everyone said " It's about time!" the first time they saw them together. They all knew that they were soul mates.

" How did I do?" asked Peter in a squeaky voice. Sirius flipped through the essays until he found Peter's. " Umm... a C-,"

Peter looked pleased, glad that he had passed.

James looked up, and before he even opened his mouth, Sirius said, " You got an A, Jimmy-boy."

James scowled. " Sirius! Don't call me that!" he whined. " Whatever you say, Jamesie." said Sirius, returning to the essays. The others laughed. They all knew that James' biggest pet peeve was people making fun of his name.

" Okay, Siri." James said back coolly.

Sirius' chair fell onto all four legs with a smack. He glared at James.

" What?" No one ever called Sirius by his pet name.

" You heard me," said James cheekily. He ducked incase Sirius threw something at him. " Oh, well, Jim-Jam." Sirius picked up a quill, and bent his head over the essays. He made a slash on the paper. " Your grade is now an A minus."

James marched up to the desk, and looked down at his essay. Sure enough, it now read A minus. James snatched the quill from Sirius and made a vertical slash over the minus sign. " Now I have an A plus."

" Very smart, Jimmy." said Sirius, laughing. Remus and Peter were stifling laughter as they went through the Professor's store cupboard. No one else saw Sirius write an offensive note on Snape's essay in a perfect imitation of Professor Slughorn's handwriting.

" What did Snivellus get?" called Remus, sorting through some strange purple substance in a jar, and dabbling some into a vial. " His isn't graded yet, though there is a comment," said Sirius in excitement, as he showed them and they laughed, knowing that Sirius had done it. " What do you say, Professor Potter?"

" Well, Professor Black," said James smartly. " I believe that young, greasy Mr. Snape did dismal work. And let's dock him a few points for being a slimy Slytherin git, too."

" Alright, Professor," said Sirius. " A T it is,"

" A what?" asked Peter. " As in troll?"

" Precisely, Professor Wormtail." said James.

" Do you have all of the ingredients?" asked Sirius.

" Yes," said Moony. " That's the hard part. The potion itself should be ready in two days if we start it tonight,"

" Well, then, let; start!" exclaimed James, as they all borrowed a cauldron and heaved the lot of it to a certain empty girl's bathroom.

A/N: This is just a fun chapter before anything big happens. But I promise that in the next chapter, when the Marauders wake up two days later, they will all be in very different situations, I have already started on the next chapter- where the Marauders find themselves in an interesting situation. Please review, and if you didn't read my note in the beginning, I am accepting requests for events in this story through reviews, and please no slash. Thanks for reading, and I'll post the next chapter soon!


	2. Failed Potions and Trading Places

Trading Places

Chapter Summary: The Marauders sample the potion, and things turn out- er- not quite right.

A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed! Thanks you for suggestions, I tried to add more details and explanations in this story because I've been told before that I didn't have enough. So, bear with me! And I am still looking for suggestions for crazy things that you'd like to see happen in this story! There is a mistake that I made in the last chapter- the title in the story for the chapter was suppose to be 'Nighttime Wanderings' not 'Failed Potions and Weird Dreams' Thanks!

Chapter Two: Failed Potions and Trading Places

Ignoring the large ' Out-of-order' sign on the girl's bathroom door, the four Marauders entered the bathroom, carrying a large cauldron and armfuls of potions ingredients. No one ever went in this bathroom, especially in the dead of night. No one ever went in here because a very whiny, depressed ghost by the nickname of Moaning Myrtle, a girl who had died in the bathroom many years ago.

" Just ignore Myrtle." hissed Sirius as they heaved the cauldron into one of the bathroom stalls.

" No problem," said James.

" Shhhh," said Remus. " She might hear us,"

" We don't care--" James and Sirius said in unison.

They regretted this almost immediately. A ghost of a glum looking girl, who had long dark hair and wore glasses, swooped down on them, sobbing and screaming in dread hysterically. " Of course- no one cares about me! I died and it took them ages to find me! I just sat there by my body- waiting. Oooh, I haunted that girl until her death day!" Myrtle almost smiled, before returning to her sobbing state. " What are you doing in here anyway? You're not girls!"

" Thanks for noticing," said Sirius dryly.

Ignoring Myrtle, they all turned back to the cauldron, which Remus was now filling up with water that he had retrieved from the sink. They set the cauldron over the toilet, and James lit a waterproof fire beneath it with his wand.

" How long will this take again?" asked Peter eagerly.

" It's supposed to take a week, and is supposed to brew during the week of the full moon. But, since that was last week, we'll just do it now and hope it works fine," said Sirius, frowning. Sirius was very impatient, and often had a short temper. All he wanted to do was brew this potion and force it down Snape's throat.

Remus lifted his school bag over his head, and undid the buttons. He retrieved all of the ingredients, and handed two at a time to James' and Sirius' eager hands.

Not even looking at what Remus was handing him, Sirius impatiently tossed the ingredients into the cauldron. James, Remus, and Peter looked slightly concerned at Sirius' rashness, and James commented, " You're not even looking, Padfoot! Instead of being able to control Snape's actions, you're going to end up poisoning him!"

James didn't sound at all displeased at this, on the contrary, he was grinning foolishly.

" It'll serve him right," said Sirius hotly. " He'll get what's coming to him."

The potion had now begun to bubble and froth as the last ingredient was tossed carelessly in. It smelt like burnt rubber and was a poisonous green color. Their noses crinkled up in distaste at the smell. Leaving the cauldron simmering softly, they exited in single file and locked the door, their robes pulled over their noses.

" We're supposed to let it simmer for at least a day," said James. "As Padfoot can't stand to wait a week. We'll check on it tomorrow night. If the 'out-of-order' sign, and Myrtle won't stop people from going in there, the smell will."

They all laughed. " Sirius said that it needed to simmer for a week!"

Peter exclaimed. " Sirius isn't very patient, now is he?"said James cheekily.

He received a smack from Sirius. James grabbed his invisibility cloak from the cold stone floor, and pulled it over the four heads.

Sirius muttered, " I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," while tapping the map, which revealed that their way to Gryffindor tower was quite clear. "Let's go."

The foursome left the dark bathroom, leaving Myrtle sobbing in her cuticle, along with their ghastly potion. Sirius kept his head bent over the Marauder's map, checking to make sure that no one crossed their path.

They safely reached the portrait of the fat lady, and James gave the password, that he had been allowed to choose as Head Boy. " Slimy Slytherins," The fat lady yawned hugely, not opening her eyes and said sleepily, " Whatever you say, dears." The portrait swung open and they scrambled inside.

The beautiful red and gold common room was deserted, and a fire was crackling merrily in the fireplace. They all crashed on one of the ancient cushy armchairs, and stared sleepily into the fire, not saying a word.

Remus, who was in the single armchair nearest the fire, fell asleep within moments. James laughed at Remus, who was now snoring loudly. He heard a snore from another direction, and saw that Sirius had collapsed in his own chair, too. To James' great amusement, Peter was hanging limply over the side of his chair. How can he be that tired? James wondered, checking his watch. He was surprised to see that it was 3:30 in the morning. That explains it. I wonder how long Peter can sleep upside down? These were James' last thoughts before he too slipped into dreamland.

The Marauders were awoken very rudely the next morning, only three hours after they had fallen asleep. The noisy students from the boys and girls' dormitories were now filing down the staircase, dressed for school and on their way to breakfast. The boys had tussled hair, and the girls, being girls, had their hair much more elegant than the boys, and were also wearing a good deal of makeup.

We all know that the Marauder's can sleep through anything-- almost. Lily Evans, James Potter's girlfriend, came down the stairs in her school uniform. She was wearing some makeup, but not much. Her bright green eyes looked fine without all of the eye makeup. Her red hair was curly and some was pulled back in the ponytail while the rest hung down.

Lily, grinning, saw James laying in an armchair, in such a deep sleep that he was drooling.

She wondered what mischief they had been causing that had made them tired enough to not even bother going to their dormitories.

Lily roughly shook James, saying, " Wake up, Potter." When this didn't work, Lily knelt down and whispered in his ear, " The Quidditch game against Slytherin started ten minutes ago, James! If you don't get there soon, they'll have to use Peter."

The reaction was immediate, and Lily jumped back in surprise as James shot up, and it looked like he got whiplash. Rubbing his neck, James looked around and muttered, " They can't use Peter! Give me five minutes!"

James, still half asleep, ran to his dormitory, threw on his Quidditch robes (backwards) and grabbed his broomstick.

When he emerged in the Common room two minutes later, his friends were all awake and his girlfriend was giggling at him. James noticed that they were all pointing and laughing at him.

" Peter, get to the field!" he barked, confused. They all chuckled louder. " I don't have time for this!" James cried, pushing past them.

He paused when he reached the Portrait hole, and stared at the wall for a moment before revolving around to face his friends. He looked down at himself and saw that his robes were on backwards, and his shoes were on the wrong feet. Muttering something that none of them could understand, he ran upstairs; his cheeks flushed red, as he heard his friends roaring with laughter. James returned beet red in his normal school robes.

The others changed and they headed for breakfast. Three of the five friends were still giggling, and James looked very putout. Lily sighed, and wrapped her arms around James' neck, kissing his cheek. " We're just kidding, Jimmy."She whispered in his ear.

James smiled, and turned to see that his three friends were looking determinedly in the opposite direction, their hands stuffed in their pockets with amused expressions on their faces at all of his pet-names.

They seated themselves at the crowded Gryffindor table, and helped themselves to toast. Lily noticed that the four Marauders kept glancing suspiciously at the Slytherins. When they finished breakfast, the Marauders and Lily headed for their first class of the day, History of Magic. As Professor Binn's was a very dull teacher, who gave long, droning lessons that everyone slept through, the Marauders were able to enjoy the lessons by passing notes.

Today's notes concerned the potion that they were secretly brewing. Lily, who was scribbling down notes (She was one of the only student who did not suffer from Binn's boring teaching approach), heard James' sniggers and snapped her head around to see what was so funny. Lily gave them a disapproving glare when she saw that they were passing notes.

In one swift movement, Lily casually snatched the notes that the Marauders were passing from her row in front of them, and ignoring their protests, began to read:

_So, what time are we going to check on the potion, Prongs? _

_I dunno. After everyone else goes to bed?_

_Sounds good to me._

_What if someone sees us?_

_Pete, we're using the invisibility cloak._

_Are we going to sample it to make sure it works? _

_Sure. Why not? _

_Because we might get sick from it._

_We didn't exactly prepare it correctly. _

_Who cares?_

_(No answer) _

_I can't wait! What will we make Snivellus do? _

_Walk into the Great Hall in his underwear and sing while dancing on the table?_

_Brilliant! Let's force him to wear Gryffindor clothes and diss my cousins! _

_I'm sure we can do that, too._

_Why don't we just make him jump off of the Astronomy Tower? _

_There's a thought._

This is where the notes ended. Lily frowned in disapproval, and scrolled on the bottom of the notes, _James Potter, you had better not be planning what I think you are_.

She passed the note back to James, who read it, wrote _Oh, of course not, Lily dear_.

Lily read the note, and scrawled, _don't sweet-talk me, Jimmykins_.

By now Sirius, Remus, and Peter were silently howling with laughter, they always found it amusing when James and Lily had little rows over about their relationship that made the Marauders crack up.

James wrote another note, _Lillian, if I told you, I would have to hex you_.

Lily read the note, scoffed at James using her full first name, and wrote back, _you wouldn't have the guts_.

James smiled cheekily just as the bell rang, with a look that plainly said, _why don't you try me?_

Professor Binns disappeared through the blackboard and the Marauders plus Lily joined the crowd thronging for their next class. James had his arm around Lily, and Sirius, Remus, and Peter sighed to hear that they were still arguing over the topic of the fate that they were planning for Snape.

" James, you are Head Boy! You are setting a bad example! And what are you planning on doing to Severus? Poisoning him?" Lily whispered.

" No, of course not, Lils! It's just a little harmless prank!" James protested.

" James Potter, I thought that you promised not to mess with Snape anymore!" said Lily huffily.

" I'm not messing with him." said James calmly. He usually refrained from tormenting Snape whenever Lily was around. This time had been an accident.

" Then why are you brewing this--harmless prank where no one else can see it?" asked Lily smoothly.

" I don't know," whined James.

Lily rounded on the other three. " What exactly will this do to him?" Lily breathed deeply, glowering at them.

The three shifted uncomfortably. Sirius was about to answer, when James spoke, " Oh-- I don't even think that it will work! We didn't prepare it correctly! Forget it, Lily. There will be no prank on Snivellus."

James' friends all had astonished, disbelieving looks on their faces. James muttered under his breath, " We'll still check on it tonight, a little later than we may have expected."

They entered the Charms classroom, just before the bell rang, and Flitwick climbed his stack of books so that he could see the class, or more for the class to be able to see him. Snape was seated in front row, his greasy head bent over a sheaf of parchment, ready for class to begin.

That night, the Marauders finished up their homework, and were sitting around the fire, waiting. One of them would occasionally check their watch.

Lily was sitting next to James, her head bent over a large novel. Peter was fiddling with a small hole in the fabric of the couch, and James and Sirius were playing a barbaric game of wizard chess that Remus was surveying, and refereeing. By midnight, the Marauders were growing anxious. Everyone had gone to bed, except Lily, who seemed to be watching and waiting for the Marauders to make some lame excuse, go to their dormitories, and sneak back out.

Sirius cleared his throat loudly, " We're really tired, Lils. See you in the morning."

The four shot up, and James kissed Lily before following his friends upstairs. Lily waited, listening for their dormitory door to close, before following.

She crept up the boy's staircase, reached their door, and pressed her ear against the wood, listening. She heard scurrying inside, several trunks opening and hushed whispers. She recognized Remus' voice, " Have we got everything?"

" Yes," Sirius answered." James, get the cloak."

" Yes, your bossiness."

As she heard their footsteps approaching the door, she rushed back down the stairs, willing it to turn into a slide as the staircase for the girl's did whenever boys tried to get up. Lily moved into the shadows in the corner of the common room and waited, but didn't see them coming.

Puzzled, Lily listened for footsteps. Then she saw the portrait hole open, and Lily curiously followed through. She could hear footsteps, and followed at a safe distance. The footsteps stopped, and Lily collided with something hard, letting out a small scream.

She heard voices coming from the invisible object. Lily reached blindly forward, and grabbed a handful of liquid-like material. Puzzled, she pulled the material off, and was shocked to see her boyfriend and his three friends standing there, looking immensely guilty, with a long map clutched in their hands.

" James--" Lily sputtered, looking astonished. She lifted the limp cloak in her hand up. " Where on Earth did you get this cloak?"

" My dad gave it to me," said James simply. He knew that he would be in big trouble if he ever lied to Lily.

" And this is how you four have been sneaking around the castle, Head Boy?"

" Yes," they all said as one, as James nudged them with his elbow.

Coming to his senses, Sirius wiped the map clear before Lily could inspect it.

Lily looked suspiciously at the map. " What's that?"

" A spare bit of parchment," said James quickly.

Lily looked as though she would rather not know, and asked, " Are you off to brew that potion?"

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter shifted guiltily, before nodding.

Lily sighed. " I'll just come with you to see what this potion is."

None of them dared to argue. It was hard enough to fit four teenagers under the cloak, five was way too much. They hurried as fast as they could for Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Lily gave them a look of disgust when she saw where their secret potion was brewing.

" In a girl's bathroom?" she hissed as they entered.

The smell of burnt rubber reached their noses again, Lily plugged her nose instinctively after catching a whiff, and the boys followed suit. Their potion was bubbling, now a neon purple color. Remus extinguished the fire under the cauldron, and they waited while it cooled.

" So, who's going to try it out to be sure it's not poison?" asked Lily sharply.

None of them rose to the occasion, but all pointed to Peter.

Peter shook his head vigorously, looking frightened.

" To be fair," said Sirius. " I say that we all try some."

Looking extremely uneasy, the five of them each took a glass cup from Remus, and filled it with some of the frothy, bubbling purple potion.

" On the count of three-" said James in a bit of a shaky voice. " One- two- three!"

Pinching their noses and putting their heads back, they gulped down the potion.

" I think I'm going to be sick!" muttered Remus, going pale.

" Me too," Peter gasped.

" It tastes like- Murtlap tentacles!" exclaimed James, receiving weird glares from the others.

" How on Earth will we ever get Snape to drink this on his own free will?" asked Sirius.

" Did it even work, whatever it's suppose to do?" asked Lily.

" Let's see," said Sirius. " Peter, drink some more!"

" Are you mental?" asked Peter, flabbergasted.

" Nope, it didn't work," said Remus, voicing the obvious.

" You were trying to control Snape?" Lily cried, discovering the use of their potion.

Very suddenly, without the slightest warning signs, the five all groaned, and slowly fell to the ground, as the potion began to take affect. Their skin turned deathly pale, and each began to shake frighteningly. The room glowed oddly misty, and before they knew it, everything stopped, and each rose to their feet.

" What just happened, Padfoot?" asked Sirius to James.

James looked very confused. " Have you lost it, Sirius? I'm Remus!"

" I'm not Sirius! It's me, James! And what are you doing in my body?"

" I should ask you that!" cried Remus to James.

Peter spoke up. " Okay, who is who?"

They all shrugged. " Now," said Peter slowly. " I am actually Lily-"

"WHAT!" they all cried.

" No!" said Sirius. " You're Peter! That's Lily!" he cried, pointing wildly at the red head. " Right, Lily dear?" Sirius yelled in Lily's direction.

Lily looked uncharacteristically confused. " Sirius, you prat! I'm Peter!"

" I'm not Sirius, I'm James!" cried Sirius desperately. " And you're Lily!"

" No I am not!" said Lily.

Peter spoke up. " Okay, this is not funny! Stop it right now!"

" This isn't a prank, Peter, err- Lily!" said Remus impatiently, which was odd as Remus was the most patient person that any of them knew.

" I'm Lily!" cried Peter.

" Quiet!" said James over all the noise. " We'll get this sorted out." James pushed his glasses up higher on the bridge of his nose. "Judging by my glasses, I am James. But I'm really Remus."

Looking confounded, Remus said, " So, I'm Remus, but it's really me, I mean, Sirius in here!"

Sirius then spoke. " I'm Sirius-but I'm James at the same time. Oy, this is weird!"

Peter looked unusually thoughtful. " Wow, it's weird to see Peter actually thinking!" cried Remus.

Lily scowled. "Hey!"

" So let me get this straight," said Sirius. " I'm James, stuck in my best friend's body. My girlfriend is in Peter, and Peter is in my girlfriend, and Sirius is in Remus and Remus is in me?"

Slowly everyone nodded, their brows furrowed in concentration.

"Well, guys, you've got us into a right mess!" exclaimed Peter-Lily. " We are stuck inside of each other's bodies!"

A/N: ooohh, cliffhanger! Look what trouble they've got themselves into this time! I'll write a new chapter soon that will deal with how everyone handles their new situation. A big thanks to my reviewers, Herculeha, Trinity Day, Amandinka, and SchaffyTaffy15! I'll write more Marauder mishaps soon! Please review!


	3. Oh, the Confusion!

Chapter Three: Oh, the Confusion!

" My head hurts from even thinking about this!" Lily-Peter moaned.

" Then don't!" Remus snapped.

" Oh, shut it, Moony!" cried Lily.

" I'm Moony!" James reminded Lily.

" James, how long will we be stuck like this?" asked Peter, rounding on Sirius.

Sirius shrugged. " Ask James- I mean me- oh, go ask Remus!" cried James, flustered.

" I want me back!" Lily whined.

" Like I don't?" Peter scoffed, gesturing at his short, plump body. " I want myself back! I don't want top be a fat little boy!"

Lily scowled. " I'm not that bad! And I don't want to be a girl!"

Everyone laughed. " What's so funny?" Lily asked.

Trying not to laugh, Remus-who-is-in-James said," We'll have to look up this potion in a book, and see how long it will last."

Sighing, they exited the bathroom, leaving Myrtle howling behind them.

Peter and James searched the shelves in the library, for any books that mentioned their misfortunes.

Sirius and Remus, (James and Sirius) were occasionally flipping through a book, but found nothing, so they decided to be on lookout. They must have been in a library for a whole hour before anyone found anything, and everyone was growing tired. Finally, Peter emerged, running in excitement, from the restricted section. Panting, he stood on his tiptoes and shoved the book in their faces.

Peter gasped to Lily, " I can hardly breathe, Peter, you should go on a diet." He said to Lily.

" Excuse me!" Lily cried. " I am just fine the way I am!" Lily stopped to think, which looked hard. " And it's nice being tall for once."

Remus muttered to Sirius, " It looks so weird for Peter to be telling Lily to go on a diet."

Sirius-James nodded vigorously. "I won't be going near my girlfriend for a long time."

Peter read the page in a book, and summarized it for them aloud, " This potion lasts a month!" Peter wailed. " I can't be like this for a month! Where will I go? I can't even get into my own dormitory! James! How did you mix up a Controlling Potion with a Switching Solution? Fix this!"

Sirius jumped. " What can I do about it, Lils? I happen to have a Quidditch game in two weeks. I can still play, since Sirius is on the team- but I'm not really used to playing Beater-"

" You'll do fine, Prongs. I have to be Chaser and Captain!" cried Remus. " And I'm on the team, but Remus isn't!"

Remus (Sirius) turned pale. " I don't get to play!"

Remus and Sirius turned to James, or rather, Remus.

" Moony, you have to play Chaser and Captain," said Sirius, sighing.

"Me?" asked James, exasperantly. " I can't play! I'm no good!"

" You'll do fine," said Remus confidently. " We've seen you fly before- and it sounds so weird to hear James denying that he has talent, it's a nice change from bragging-"

James was panicking now. " Not in front of the whole school, you haven't! I can't! How am I suppose to be Chaser and Captain?"

" We'll help you practice," said Remus and Sirius together.

Peter wailed over all of them, " I can't get into my room!"

" And I'm not going in the girl's dormitory!" said Lily, looking disgusted. " I'll have to listen to their gossip, and who likes who-"

The Marauders grinned. " That can be an advantage," said Sirius, smirking. Peter slapped him.

" Siri- err, James!" he cried. " I- I mean she, no he can't eavesdrop on my friends!" he pointed wildly at Lily.

" Come on Worm- Lily," said Remus. '' It'll be fun! Besides, your friends don't have any secrets, do they?"

Peter sniffed, " No." he said in a very unconvincing tone.

" You'll have to sleep in our dormitory!" The Marauders cried gleefully to Peter-Lily.

" No!" she cried. " I can't live in that toxic waste pigsty!"

" I am morally offended," said Sirius defensively. " Those house-elves never come around to clean-"

" Only because those poor house-elves are afraid that they might break their necks tripping over a broomstick!" said Peter hotly.

" When they come in to clean at night, it isn't that hard to turn on a light," Remus protested.

James and Remus suddenly turned pale. " Night!" they both cried together, both struck with another unfortunate situation.

" What?" asked Lily, looking lost.

" You said that the potion lasts a month?" yelled Remus, rounding on Peter.

" Yes," said Peter quickly. "Why?" The other Marauders didn't need an explanation. They knew what Remus-Sirius was facing. Sirius would have to endure a werewolf transformation. Remus was very pale, and James said quickly, " See you, Lils- I mean Wormtail! We need to get to bed now- there's a huge test in Transfiguration, you know. Goodnight!"

They all descended to Gryffindor tower, and as they departed to dormitories, Peter called to Lily, " Don't you dare harass my friends!" After Peter-Lily asked Lily-Peter for a nightgown, they climbed the stairs.

Mumbling to herself, Lily darkly entered the girl's dormitories. Laughing at Peter's misfortunes, the others entered the boy's dormitory. Stepping gingerly across the ground, avoiding large objects littered so that the floor didn't show they approached their beds. Peter looked around in disgust. The ground was a sea of the Marauder's belongings, the beds were unmade, the walls were plastered with various Quidditch posters, and there was some unidentified green object splattered on the window. Grimacing, Lily-Peter gracefully approached the last bed, shuddering. " I am not sleeping in his bed!" she cried.

" Yeah, well, I don't blame you," said Sirius, shrugging.

As Peter continued to stare at the bed with mounting distaste, she noticed that all three of the other boys were staring at her expectantly. Peter noticed the pajamas in their hands, turned red, and muttered, " Sorry!" He turned around and covered his eyes as they dressed. After a few moments, Lily began to return to glaring at the bed, when the boys snapped, " No peeking!"

" I wasn't!" Lily said, embarrassed, pressing her hands over her eyes once again.

"Yeah, sure you weren't," she heard Sirius-James say.

" I mean, who can blame her with our dashingly good looks?" said Sirius- James. (James)

" You are the biggest egotistical prat that I have ever met, Potter," said Lily, though a smile was creeping onto her face.

" We all know that you couldn't resist sneaking a peak at me," said Remus. Sirius punched him in the arm. Lily went into the bathroom and changed. She couldn't figure out what was so funny when she emerged from the bathroom. All three boys were laughing so loudly that she hoped they didn't wake the whole tower.

" Shhh! What's so funny?" she hissed. They pointed at her, tears of laughter streaming down their faces. Lily's face turned red. What was wrong? All that she had done was change into pajamas...

Lily looked in wall length mirror by her boyfriend's bed and let out of a scream of surprise and amusement. The short, plump form of Peter Pettigrew stared, grinning back at her, wearing a long pink dressing gown and fluffy pink slippers--

Lily was crying with mirth, collapsing on the bed next to Sirius (James) and giggling insanely. "That-" she gasped, " Is--the-- funniest thing that I--have ever- seen," she could barely breathe, much less talk.

So, wiping tears of laughter from their now shining faces, they each climbed into bed. Lily didn't bother to change. In fact, the four joked about her wearing that outfit all of the next day to humiliate Peter.

Lily flat out refused to sleep in the bed until it had been thoroughly cleaned with the Scorgio charm. As they drifted to sleep at random times, Lily could hear the occasional giggle, but they were soon replaced by loud snores, and poor Lily groaned and covered her ears with a pillow...

Meanwhile in the 7th year girl's dormitories...

" What's wrong, Lils?" asked Alice, a friend of Lily's, as she climbed under her bed sheets.

" Oh, nothing." said Peter quickly. He clambered clumsily onto the only remaining bed.

"So," said Rachel Hallister, a dark haired girl who also happened to be Lily's best friend, as she flopped over her pillows. " Who shall we talk about tonight?"

" Frank, of course." exclaimed Alice in a dreamy voice. She and Frank Longbottom had been dating since sixth year, and was often all that Alice wanted to talk about during their 'girl time.'

Her friends, except Lily, let out sighs of exasperation. " Someone else tonight." piped up the smallest girl of the group, Hannah Rineson.

" Yeah," cried her twin, Hilary.

" How about," Rachel gave a dramatic pause. " The ever-charming Marauders?" The girls leaned forward eagerly, each giving words of approval.

" Who should we start with?" asked Peter nervously, thinking that the others would find it odd if Lily didn't participate in the conversation.

" Well, you want to start with James, of course!" said Alice, staring at Peter strangely. Lily turned red. " Sure, w-why not?"

" If you don't mind me saying so, Lils," said Hilary happily. " I wish that I played Quidditch with him! I would play anything!"

Hannah smirked at her twin. Hannah, being very small and fast, was Seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch team and saw James on the field nearly every day. All of the girls in the school were jealous that she spent so much time in the company of James Potter and Sirius Black.

" Now, now," said Rachel. " That's not make Lily suspicious," said Rachel, looking anxiously at Lily. " We'll just talk about his best friend!"

" Sirius Black," Rachel, Hannah, and Hilary sighed. Alice and Lily snorted, and the other three girls shot up." What?" asked Rachel defensively. " He's the most handsome, rebellious, talented--"

" That's enough," said Lily, laughing. " And we all know that James is talented."

" Well, yes." said Hannah truthfully. " But Sirius has the cutest puppy dog face-" Lily laughed at this, and her friends looked at her oddly.

" Okay, I get it," Lily muttered. " You all fancy Sirius-"

" No," said Hilary. " I fancy Remus. He's so shy, quiet, mysterious, but I'm too shy to say anything to him, you know, in case he doesn't like me," she finished in a small voice.

" Well, I know Remus well, through James, and I'm sure that he would like to hear that," Lily said to Hilary. " He might even- Oh, I dunno, write you some poetry?"

" Really?" she giggled, blushing. " Are you sure?"

" Of course," said Peter. " And Rachel- just tell Sirius how much you fancy him, he loves attention."

" I'll do that," she whispered.

Realization struck Peter. These girls couldn't go flirting with his friends right now, when they weren't even themselves! " But stay away from them right now." exclaimed Peter quickly.

"Why?" the girls chorused, looking confused.

" Because," said Peter plainly. " They're not feeling like themselves. Especially Peter."

" Oh, I hate Peter!" said Hannah huffily. " He's always following poor James, Sirius and Remus around, and when we were taking our O.W.L's, I swear that I saw him cheat off of my paper--"

The girls all muttered their agreement. Peter felt his face go red, and he clenched his fist.

" He not only follows the Marauders- he hides behind them, like they're his bodyguards or something!" Hilary put on a shrill voice. " ' Oh, Sirius, James! I just insulted a Slytherin and now they're going to beat me up! Hide me! Hide me!'"

All of the girls laughed, except for Lily, who muttered, " I'm tired."

Nobody else talked for the rest of the night.

The next morning

Lily awoke to see Sirius's grinning face right over her own. " Wake up, sleeping Lily-inside-Peter!" James cried. As Lily stood up, she saw that James was the only other one awake, perhaps eager to see Peter in a dressing gown again.

Lily rolled out of bed, and stood, and James went into a fit of laughter, that Lily thought would wake the others. She was surprised when it didn't.

Lily grinned. " James, do you know how weird it seems for Sirius to be up before anyone else?" James said brightly, " Right. Would you like to insist me in waking them up?"

" Sure, why not." she shrugged.

Sirius (James) marched up to Remus' bed and yelled, "Wake up, Siri!"

Sirius turned over, and muttered, " Shut up!" He threw his pillow at James. Lily glanced at him questioningly, "His pet name," James answered before she could ask. " He hates it. It's reserved for his er- lady friends."

" You mean one-night stands?" Lily scoffed.

" Actually, no. Sirius isn't as bad as everyone thinks."

" Oh, really?" asked Lily in interest. " So, he's not the lady's man that he seems to be?"

" Oh, he is." replied James as he sat on the edge of Remus' bed. " He, well, let's say that we set him a curfew." Lily giggled. James said, " There's a reason that I've never told you this before, but if there's one thing that will wake him up, it's to tickle him." He leaned over and tickled Remus-Sirius.

Sirius let out a high giggle and began kicking his feet under the bed sheets. " See?" James said. " And now that I've shown you, you must promise to never use this as a weapon against him."

Lily playfully tickled the sleeping body of Remus also, he squealed. " But it's fun!" Lily cried playfully. " It's so cute when the high and mighty Sirius squirms like that!"

" Now what he really hates," said James slowly, " Is when someone gets him-- right here." he tickled the sleeping Sirius under the neck,

Sirius sat straight up, giggling uncontrollably. He glanced around at Peter and himself, but-not-himself, looking confused.

" Wake up, sunshine." said Sirius (James) tauntingly to his friend, before going to wake up Remus-James. He shook his friend's shoulder roughly, and his head lolled around. " Wake up, Moony."

Sirius sighed, and opened the trunk at the foot of Remus' bed. He shifted through the contents until he found a bar of Honeyduke's Best Chocolate. He peeled back the wrapper and waved it around Remus-James's face. James sniffed, and bit the chocolate bar as he sat up. He warily opened his eyes, grinned, and snatched the bar from James' hand, " Thanks." he muttered, through a mouthful of chocolate.

" Remus is a chocoholic." said James loudly to Peter.

They heard the James-Remus yell " Hey!" from behind them.

" So, James," asked Lily in interest. " What wakes you up?"

" Well, said Sirius, from across the room. " You either talk about Lily, or tell him that he's late for a Quidditch game."

James shuddered. " It's my worst nightmare." they all laughed at him, and James said even louder, " Well, it is! What if Slytherin beats us? It could happen, you, know. If I'm not there in time,"

Nevertheless, with all of the small arguing, they were very late for breakfast the next day.

Sorry. It's hard. Was that too short? A/N: This chapter- though short to me took a long time to write. I had to start over several times and change the story because I would get the characters mixed up (Even more.) For instance, I was going to make James ticklish, but I confused the bodies, and had to change it so that it was Remus- Sirius who was ticklish. Bear with me-- this isn't the easiest fic to write! Raise your hand if I've confused you yet! Thank you soooo much to all of my reviewers. A new chapter soon, once I sort everything out.


	4. Who's Who?

**Trading Places- chapter four- that you thought would never come**

**A/N: Led Zepellin: It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, time. mutters sorry. I haven't wrote in a long time because I just haven't been in 'a writing mood.' It's been over two months! But I was getting very confused with this story and it's been hard to write. I've also been questioning my writing ability and I feel like I'm not that good. So, if any of you were frustrated at this story not continuing for a while, so was I.**

**I know that I'll need this review:**

**James- **_is actually_** Remus inside**

**Sirius- **_is actually _**James inside**

**Remus- **_is actually _**Sirius inside**

**Lily- **_is actually_** Peter**

**Peter- **_is actually _**Lily (This is the easiest one. Just remember that Lily and Peter switched bodies to make the story more interesting than just the Marauders trading places)When I say 'Sirius said' that means Sirius' body, but James talking. I'm not going to use who is actually talking, because that would ruin the point. Have I successfully confused any of you yet?**

**When I use the character's names, it's referring to the body, not the person.**

Here we go...

Chapter Four: Who's who?

That morning at breakfast was just about as normal as it could possibly be, considering the fact that four boys and a girl had switched bodies and had to adjust to being someone else. They awoke that morning, got dressed, (Lily- Peter had a lot of trouble.)

They were now seated at the Gryffindor table. The Marauders were talking eagerly about Quidditch, and some of the more observant students noticed that the Quidditch- crazy- Potter didn't seem as enthusiastic about the game as he usually did, and they thought that he might be coming on with some horrible, life-threatening illness.

Lily's friends also noticed some changes in her; like the fact that she wasn't wearing any make-up, her usually elegant hair was in a messy ponytail that looked more like a knot, and she was consuming four times as much food as she usually did. Her friends exchanged amused glances, but deciding not to say anything- she might snap at them. " Time of the month," Alice whispered. The others nodded.

" So, Lily," began Rachel, in a cheerful voice, "How are you feeling?"

" Hungry," she grunted, grabbing for the maple syrup.

"Obviously," Rachel muttered under her breath so that Lily didn't hear.

Lily swallowed her mouthful. "What class do I have first today?"

The other girls exchanged glances, as though questioning Lily's sanity.

" Transfiguration," Alice reminded her kindly.

"Oh," said Lily, sounding disappointed. "I forgot to do my homework!"

" But you _always _do your homework," Hilary said, disbelieving.

"Well, I forgot," replied Lily, as though it didn't matter. The real Lily would be stressing, panicking, and trying to catch up as quick as she could. But this had only happened once, in second year.

"We saw you do your homework!" said Hannah. "Where'd you put it?"

"I dunno." Lily's friends looked shocked at the idea of Head Girl, straight A student- Lily Evans- not caring about whether or not she failed transfiguration. Lily shrugged, and said thickly, "Pass the bacon."

Looking utterly confused, Alice handed the plate of bacon to Lily, who usually avoided bacon, and most fatty foods. And the other girls noticed her lack of manners, Lily always said please and thank you to everybody. Her friends silently agreed that something was seriously wrong with Lily.

Meanwhile, a few seats down the table, James, Sirius, and Remus were in a deep conversation of last weeks game when the Falmouth Falcons had clobbered the Ballycastle Bats.

" I just can't see how Bagman was fouled so bad! He didn't even see that Bludger coming! And he was out the whole rest of the game! He only had a _mild_ concussion-- he could have finished the game!" Sirius-actually-James cried enthusiastically.

" I agree with you, Prongs." said Sirius-in-Remus in the same tones. " They should have a re-match."

"Can you guys please stop talking about Quidditch?" pleaded James-Remus, looking rather pale. Several people around him looked at James as though checking to see if it was just someone wearing a mask of James, (which it almost was) because James even talked about Quidditch in his sleep.

"Why ever would you say that, Moony?" asked Sirius in a hurt voice.

"Because I'll have to play, and I'll be clobbered by the Bludgers, won't make any goals, and will help to make this Gryffindor's first game lost in years." answered James miserably.

"Oh, come on Moony! You really need to have more confidence in yourself. You'll do fine! You've played Chaser loads of times at James' house!" Remus-Sirius reassured him.

"Yes," said James through clenched teeth. "Buts that's without hundreds of people watching me."

" Alright then, Moony. Pretend they're not there," said Sirius-actually-James.

"Or in their underwear!" Remus-actually-Sirius cried. James socked him in the arm.

"Ow!" whined Sirius. "Stop hurting yourself!" James chuckled bitterly.

"Well, Remus," said Sirius-Remus. " Don't forget that I'll have to do something that I'm not used to too," he frowned. " You won't have to transform this month. I will."

A curious look of both sympathy and relief crossed over Jame's face. He didn't seem to know what to say, because in the long run, he had it easy for once. A game of Quidditch was nothing compared to a werewolf transformation. Sure, in Quidditch you can get a few injuries, but it's nothing compared to a werewolf transformation; it ripped your soul, personality, and everything about you straight from your body, and replaced it with a murderous, blood-thirsty beast. It stretched your spine, curving it, hunching it into the back of the monster. Every cell of your body was changed, and every inch of your skin burned, as you literally changed into a different creature. Not even yourself. Werewolves were feared in both the Wizard and Muggle worlds, but in reality, they should be pitied. It's not their choice. It changes them, so that they're not even themselves. And now, Sirius would have to endure that pain. Remus felt a guilty pang that his friend would have to experience that. No one should know that pain.

The bell rang for the first class of the day, jaunting Remus from his thoughts. He picked up his bag, and followed the others out of the hall.

The Marauders sat in their usual places in the Transfiguration classroom- second row, to the left. The class chatted as they waited for the bell to ring. Professor McGonagoll looked sternly around the room, waiting for her class to resume its usual silence.

After several more minutes of useless babbling from the class of seventeen-year olds, and watching several stragglers wander into class just seconds before they were tardy, the bell chimed all around the school, and the students instantly silenced and faced the front of the class. They were well trained, in this class at least.

"Now," began the Professor, her voice echoing off the walls. "Before we start the lesson, could you all please pass your homework's to the right, so that I collect them before we start the lesson."

Throughout the room, there was sounds of murmuring, whispering, and the sound of students searching through their bags. With a couple of students you could hear the scratching of quills as some students hurriedly copied from their neighbor's papers. The Marauders performed quite an act of trying to think of who's homework should be handed to who, so that the correct person could pass it in.

Peter whipped around to face Lily behind him. "Do you have my homework?" he hissed.

"No," said Lily, a blank look on her face. "But I need yours."

Peter sighed and handed over the homework. Lily bent her head down and checked the answers. "Good job, Evans. This'll be my first A this trimester."

"And it'll be _your_ first F!" Peter-Lily cried. "It's bad enough that you're going to make me fat by pigging out at breakfast, but now you're going to make me fail all of my classes too! But what you don't realize, _Peter, _is that it's _you _who will fail this class." He smiled in a satisfied way.

Lily's smile vanished, and was replaced with a confused, angry look. "Oh, right. I forgot."

Peter scowled, and faced the front of the class. The real Peter was delighted at getting an easy A, but slightly ashamed that he was causing Lily an F. But what could he do about it? To everyone else, apart from James, Sirius, Remus and Lily, he _was _Lily.

Professor McGonagoll collected the papers, and began her lesson.

" So- where we left off last lesson- the Mystic Kettle of the Nackledirk did _not _exist, Stebbins- as much as Mr. Black and Mr. Potter assured you that it does. And that was very off topic, and caused you to miss valuable class time that could have been used to complete some of your homework. Now, I know that you've all been waiting for this lesson since I introduced you to Transfiguration on the first day of your first year. Today, we will be turning the desks into creatures. Mice for today, but by the end of the week, we will be turning them into pigs. You may not transform the desks into any animals that may be dangerous or off the lesson plan without my permission. Do not feed the animals, lest you will have to keep them as your pet."

"Can we turn them into dogs, then?" called Remus, startling several students, because Remus never talked out of turn. Professor McGonagoll looked down her long, thin nose at him, but Remus didn't relent.

"I suppose," breathed Professor stiffly. "Under my supervision."

"Or stags?" yelled Sirius. His outburst surprised no one, but a _stag?_

" A stag?" The Professor repeated, looking at Sirius shrewdly. "Why on Earth would you want to change your desk into a stag?"

"Because they're oh so cute and fluffy," answered Sirius simply, flashing a charming smile. The class giggled, with the exception of Professor McGonagoll. Remus socked Sirius on the arm, and James chuckled. Peter looked slightly disapproving, and Lily was laughing heartily.

"You're a strange one, Mr. Black." she said stiffly. "And the answer is no."

"Alright then," sighed Sirius dramatically. His friends grinned, and pretended to comfort him.

McGonagoll chose to ignore the interruption, but continued on with the class, before casting the boys one last frustrated, bewildered look. Remus and Sirius did a high-five, and James rolled his eyes. McGonagoll eyed the boys sternly, and all four slapped on faces of pure, angelic innocence. Lily learned that if she was to act like a Marauder, she would have to follow their every move, idiotic as it may be.

Professor McGonagoll gave them instructions on the blackboard, and they went to work.

"So," said Remus, clapping his hands together as students all around him began rolling up their sleeves, pulling out their wands, and facing their desks. "What animal shall we do first today?"

"A mouse, remember?" said Peter-Lily sweetly.

"Oh yeah," Sirius and Remus said together. They saw Lily's messy red head join them.

Lily bent over and whispered to Peter, " Your friends talk _way _too much. Sirius this, Sirius that, what's up with Moony, and it was really embarrassing when they keep asking me about _you, _Prongs!"

The friends laughed heartily. Remus perked up. "What do they say about me?"

" Oh, yeah, Padfoot. Hannah fancies you." said Peter-Lily casually.

Peter looked scanilized. "You're telling our top secret girl business?"

James and Sirius leaned in, excited. "Spill it, Wormtail. We must hear this _top secret girl business, _that you speak of."

Remus' face remained stunned. "_Hannah likes me? _How come she never said anything?"

"Maybe because she was afraid that she would just be another fling to you," snapped Peter.

"She wasn't very obvious," Remus continued.

"Padfoot, old friend, you call her blushing and giggling very time she sees you, finding excuses for her to talk to you during everything, and downright stalking you isn't obvious?" said James incredulously.

"Well, know." said Remus bluntly, "Not unless she comes out and says it."

"She's shy," Peter insisted.

"Get to work, boys!" McGonagoll barked.

"And by the way, Moony- Hilary likes you."

Since today was a long class, after Transfiguration, the friends headed straight for lunch. James passed around a plate of crisps, when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.

It was a nervous looking Hufflepuff. He had dark brown hair and brownish gold eyes.

"Yes?" asked James-Remus politely.

"Um, P-Potter," he stuttered. Remus looked slightly taken aback at being called Potter, but recovered quickly. Sirius looked up, after hearing his name. "Are you s-still going out with Lily Evans?"

James looked slightly startled, and said, "No." the boy's face brightened. Sirius's eyes widened and he kicked James under the table.

"I mean yes," said Remus, wincing. "We are."

"Oh, sorry." he murmured. And the boy slumped away, looking disappointed. Peter was laughing, and looked highly amused.

"What's so funny?" asked Remus-Sirius.

"Oh, it would just be quite funny if Remus did in fact say no to the boy, and he went off flirting with Peter thinking that he was me." Peter choked.

The Marauders laughed appreciatively, with the exception of Peter. "That wouldn't have been funny!" he protested, causing them to imagine it and laugh harder.

The last class of the day was History of Magic, which they were able to get through, with hardly anybody noticing any difference in any of them. Some of the more observant, or bored students noticed that Peter Pettigrew seemed to be taking a suddenly alarming amount of notes, when a week ago he hardly took a sentence of notes, if that. And Lily Evans, who usually was able to copy every word Professor Binns said, was now snoring loudly, with her head on her desk, and her friends snatching bewildered glances.

The Marauders were playing paper Quidditch in the corner. James had his hands up as a goal post, as Remus and Sirius took turns making goals with a squashed up piece of homework. Nothing new here. In fact, the classes attention went easily from the teacher to the Marauders without Binns noticing. The Marauders constantly joked that the Professor could die and not realize it, just get up to teach as a ghost one day.

That night after dinner, it was getting dark out, but that didn't stop James and Sirius from teaching Remus some Quidditch skills for the upcoming game. The three of them marched to the pitch, leaving Peter and Lily to study for Muggle Studies. Lily knew that Peter would need help in that class to keep her from failing, so she was tutoring him. But to everyone else, it would look the opposite. Peter would be tutoring Lily.

The three boys mounted their broomsticks and kicked off from the ground. After doing several laps around the court to warm up, Sirius (James) began instructing James (Remus.) while Sirius retrieved a Quaffle for them to practice with.

"Let's start by just passing the Quaffle around," Sirius called, throwing it to James. They passed the ball around counter-clockwise. Remus would fumble slightly with the ball, but always catch it, and this was encouraging to him. Every time they caught it in a round, they would back up a couple more feet to make it harder.

For their next exercise, James and Sirius took turns guarding the goal posts while Remus tried to score. He was quite strong, and on average, three out of five shots made it through the hole.

By the end of the practice, each boy was panting. "If you play like that Moony, you'll do fine." James reassured him. Sirius nodded in agreement. Remus smiled.

"Why don't we just tell Professor Dumbledore?" asked Remus in James' voice.

"Because," said Sirius simply. " One: We'll get in trouble. Two: It'll be hard to explain. Three: We'll all learn how hard it can be to be each other. And four: This is fun!"

His friends smiled, and three of them trooped up to the school, joking all the way. Even in different circumstances, some things never change.

A/N: End of chapter four. Took me long enough! I'm home from school sick today, so I found some time to write. My sister is getting married on Thursday, so it will be a very busy week! I hope you liked, even though it was short to me. I still have writer's block, so this was hard. What should the next chapter have: Quidditch, more classes, and perhaps the werewolf transformation. I'm not sure now long this story will be, so I don't want to make any promises. Thank you to all of my reviewers! Until next time!


	5. The Quidditch Game

**Trading Places- chapter five**

**In honor of _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood _Prince date being released- July 16, 2005- I am posting a new chapter! (I started the day it was announced, didn't finish until now! Sad... I know.)**

**A/N: I'm moving quicker at a quicker pace now that I'm back in my writing mode! Thank you so much for the reviews- they are really what encourage me to keep writing! It's been another tough couple of weeks. My sis got married, and my 17 year old cat Bucky died yesterday. So, anyways, on with the story...**

**Another reminder... yes I will be putting this at the start of each chapter.**

**James- **_is actually_** Remus inside**

**Sirius- **_is actually _**James inside**

**Remus- **_is actually _**Sirius inside**

**Lily- **_is actually_** Peter**

**Peter- **_is actually _**Lily**

**Chapter Five: The One with the Quidditch Game**

The upcoming Quidditch game was approaching, and so was the full moon. It was the day before the game, and James (Remus) was a nervous wreck. He was hiding under the covers, muttering to himself, reassuring himself that it would all be over by this time tomorrow, and that he could play fairly decently. He just hoped that he wouldn't lose Gryffindor's winning streak, or wreck James' reputation.

The others left him alone, knowing that everyone went through that pressure and doubt before their first game, and James had witnessed it firsthand, not only from his first game, but from new team members he had assigned onto the team, that he frequently gave counseling sessions to.

"Come on, Moony," called Remus-Sirius, throwing a pillow at the boy under the covers of his four-poster bed. "Let's go visit Hagrid. It will get our minds off our troubles!"

The others gave cries of agreements.

James-Remus said, "Yeah, it's been awhile. Hagrid will sure be confused, though."

Lily said, "Yeah. Try to act normal."

Sirius snorted. Remus poked his head out from under the curtains, and fixed his glasses before getting out of the four-poster bed. While the others were pulling on their cloaks, James- Remus stared at his reflection in the mirror, and tried to flatten his hair. After unsuccessfully trying to flatten his hair, Remus gave a frustrated sigh and strode out of the dormitory, slamming the door behind him, and joined his friends at the foot of the stairs, muttering about how James could stand having guinea-pig hair.

The five friends left the castle and headed onto the grounds. There were a number of students out on that sunny Saturday enjoying their weekend. Some kids were splashing in the lake, and some foolish first years were throwing rocks at the Giant Squid. They trooped down past the glittering lake and up to the gamekeeper's hut. Remus-James knocked swiftly on the door, and waited for Hagrid to answer.

" I'm comin'," they heard Hagrid call from inside the one-room hut. "_Back, Tank, back!"_

They heard from inside the hut a few booming barks, the scrape of the lock being pulled back, and the door creaked open. Hagrid's large bearded face appeared in the door, and he beckoned them in, while tugging back on his boarhound Tank's collar.

Once they were all safely inside the hut, Hagrid let go of the large black dog's collar. The dog usually headed straight for Sirius. Hagrid always said that Tank liked Sirius because they had something in common. (He didn't know how right he was!) But instead, Tank gave a joyful bark, and leaped, tail wagging, at Remus.

"Hey, Tank!" Remus (Sirius) said excitedly, ruffling the dog's fur. "Shake!" Tank lifted a large paw and shook Remus' outstretched hand. "High five!" Tank leaped up and slapped Remus' hand with his paws.

Hagrid chuckled. " Well, Remus, I see that Tank has a new favorite!"

Sirius finished his usual greeting with the dog and smiled, sinking into the newest armchair. James (Remus) muttered to Sirius, "They like their own kind."

Sirius smirked. "You should talk, Moony!"

"Shut, up, Padfoot!" .

Hagrid turned from the bickering Marauders and started preparing six cups of tea. He offered them a tin of cookies while they were waiting. "I've never understood those ruddy nicknames you four use." He handed them each a cup of scalding tea. The Marauders looked at each other nervously. Hagrid was inquiring about their nicknames, which were actually much more than nicknames. Peter (Lily) looked slightly confused.

" They're kind of jokes at our personalities and looks," Remus (Sirius) explained. "For instance, James here," he slapped James on the back, causing him to choke on his tea. " Is called Prongs, because his uncontrollable hair reminds us all of antlers." Hagrid chuckled heartily as if agreeing.

James pretended to look offended at what his nickname meant while wiping tea off his chin with his sleeve. "And Padfoot means just what it sounds like," James said, smirking. "Wormtail, well," he was trying to think of a lie quick.

Peter (Lily) came to the rescue. " Didn't you start calling Pet- I mean me, that after I asked if worms had tails?" she gave them a look as if saying, 'I covered up for you, so you had better explain yourselves later!'

The Marauders forced laughs at this cover-up story. In reality, Peter's Animagus was a rat, and his tail looked like a worm. It was actually a personal insult to Peter, and Lily's face showed it, but as we find out later, it was the truth.

"And what about 'Moony'?" asked Hagrid, offering them some home made treacle fudge, which they accepted, but warmed in their hands before they ate it- Hagrid's fudge was very hard and sticky, and practically glued your mouth shut as you ate it. This was good for them, in the Marauder's case, because they had to think of a cover-up story for Moony's lycanthropy, and having their mouths fused shut by treacle fudge was a pretty good excuse.

James (referring to who he actually _is)_ replied, "It's a very sensitive joke to him. You see- one night we were swimming in the lake and-"

Remus covered James' mouth and the rest of his words were muffled. Hagrid smiled. "Oh," was all he said. After that, the topic was dropped, and the Marauders breathed a sigh of relief.

There was a few moments of silence as everyone finished their tea. Peter (Lily) was the first to speak. "So, how have you been, Hagrid?"

Hagrid, instead of replying "Fine," as humans usually do right away when asked this question, because they're hesitant to say how they really feel- took a moment to ponder this question. "I've bin' real busy to tell you the truth," Hagrid started. "I've bin doin' some things for Dumbledore, an' I have to keep rescuing these same firs' years from the giant squid-"

James peered out the window past the curtains. " It looks like they're at it again, Hagrid," James said. "Oh- it grabbed the shorter one..."

Hagrid gave a cry of disbelief and stormed out of the hut, calling back to them, "I'll be back in a while," before chasing after the troublesome youngsters.

"I feel somewhat guilty for this," the real Sirius said. "James and I told those two that it was fun to mess with the squid." Remus frowned. He remembered that incident where James and Sirius had had the confrontation with the squid in their first year. Hagrid had pulled the two troublemakers out of the lake, after the squid had tipped the three of them into the water. Sirius had seen the squid- and you know the Marauders. It wasn't very pretty. I say no more.

Lily, who would have usually berated them, brought up another nagging issue the Marauders had been avoiding. " Would you care to explain the nicknames now, gentlemen?"

The Marauders hesitated. They all new that James never lied to Lily, even though he had always managed to avoid this subject until now. But they didn't have to say anything. Lily was a very bright girl, and was already starting to figure it out on her own. "Remus is Moony.. he's always gone on the f--" Lily stopped, her eyes grew very wide, and her mouth was open, as realization hit her. " I can't believe that I've never realized it before this!" she pointed wildly first at Remus, and then remembered that he was actually currently Sirius, and pointed to her boyfriend, knowing that James wasn't home, and he was Remus for the time being. "_You're a werewolf!"_

James looked at the ground, avoiding her gaze. Sirius took over. "Lils," he began. " Do you see why he didn't tell you? He wouldn't even tell us! We figured it out on our own."

James (Remus) spoke, talking to the floor. " I didn't tell anyone... because I was afraid. I was afraid that my friends would want nothing to do with me when they found out, like all of my friends before Hogwarts did, like society does." he paused, and took a deep, calming breath. "But James, Sirius, and Peter didn't." He glanced around at the other three Marauders, not sure whether or not to say anything about them being illegal Animagus yet.

Sirius quickly lured the conversation away from more dangerous waters. " And see, now that we're switched, it will be _me _who transforms this month," he forced himself to smile. "I'm giving Remus a month off!" Remus smiled weakly back at him, still feeling slightly guilty.

"Oh," said Lily, her hand over her mouth. That was all they could say before they heard Hagrid enter the hut rather noisily. His moleskin overcoat was very damp, as were his hair and beard. "Those ruddy troublemakers are with Professor McGonagoll right now," he said. "And the squid is quite angry. They were throwin rocks at 'im and all..."

They chatted absently with Hagrid for several minutes- though their minds were elsewhere. Mostly on the upcoming Quidditch game and the werewolf transformation. And quite strangely- Peter's mind was on cheese. Hagrid offered them some rock cakes, which they politely refused. Around eight o' clock they bid Hagrid farewell and started off for the castle, in order to turn in early for the eventful day that was ahead of them.

Despite going to bed early, none of the five friends got that much sleep that night. Remus was battling his nerves about the upcoming game, trying to force himself to get some shut-eye, though his eyes were wide and staring blurrily at the ceiling all night long. Sirius was as nervous as Remus about the game, he was used to being the Beater on the team, but he was hoping that Remus would do well, and happy for James, who did still get to do his favorite thing in the world. James was annoyed by Frank Longbottom's snoring, and knew that the others were wide awake as well. Lily was awake, as she was mostly nights, because she was reading, and out of revulsion because of the bed in which she was sleeping. And I will continue to leave Peter out as much as possible, if you don't mind.

The next morning was very bright, and the Marauders considerably noticed the difference of dark to light, and woke up, showered, and got ready to head to breakfast. Lily had got up long ago- probably studying. The Marauders had messy hair and slightly bloodshot eyes. At breakfast, Remus didn't each much, and his friends had to force him to eat.

"Nervous, Potter?" said a sly voice from behind them, that could only belong to a certain hook nosed, greasy haired Slytherin. The Marauders turned quickly around, scowling at their arch nemesis.

Remus ( actually Sirius) said something very rude to Snape that I will not write it here because I don't use language in my stories, but you get the idea. Snape smirked, his eyebrows raised. "Language, Lupin." he said smoothly. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you were acting much more like Black today."

Sirius (James) smirked. "Shove off, Snivellus." he tried to remain calm, as not so start up a fight. That's the last thing they needed- for one of them to get in trouble right before a very important Quidditch game. But to James, every game was important. However, his fists were clenched tightly at his sides.

Peter (Lily) had been alert in this conversation the whole time, and was sensing for when danger was coming. "Come on, guys," he murmured. "Don't waste time- forget about him. Rem- I mean James, you still have to eat something before the game-"

"Yes," said Snape. "You do that. I've been watching the Slytherin practices. You'll need all the help you can get." he smirked nastily before heading back to the Slytherin table.

"What does he mean?" asked Sirius (James.) " By 'all the help you can get,' what do you think they're planning?"

"I don't want to think about it," said James (Remus) visibly paling as he looked around the Great Hall. Students were standing up and exiting the room in the direction of the grounds, all sporting the colors of the house they wanted to win the upcoming game. So, basically- three fourths of the school were wearing red and gold.

Remus and Sirius helped James get up shakily, and Professor McGonagoll greeted them on their way out. She was wearing a Gryffindor scarf and rosette. "Good luck out there Potter, Black." she said, giving them a rare smile.

"Thanks, Professor," said James (Remus) in a weak voice. Then they began to descend to the Quidditch pitch. Peter and Lily waved before heading to get good seats in the stadium.

"I don't think I can--" Remus began, but James put a finger to his mouth to stop him from finishing his sentence. "You'll be fine," James said reassuringly.

"I wish I could play," said Sirius anxiously. "Prongs, remember to copy all my moves, so no one's suspicious."

"You mean hit every Slytherin in sight without mercy?" asked James laughing.

"Precisely." said Sirius seriously. "And look good while you're doing it." James and Remus rolled their eyes. They entered the changing room, bidding an anxious Sirius good-bye, and he hurried to join Lily and Peter.

James opened Sirius's wooden locker, he knew his combination- and put on the robes that said BLACK on the back in large gold letters, and he went to retrieve the Beater's club. Remus' hands shook as he buttoned the crimson robe that said in large gold capitol letters- POTTER.

"How are you, Hannah?" asked Sirius (James) as the small Gryffindor Seeker walked by.

"Fine," she replied, smiling. "Um, Sirius... Rachel wanted me to give this to you." she shoved a folded up piece of parchment into his gloved hands. James smirked. He knew what this was. Sirius had received countless ones in his six and a half years at Hogwarts. He tucked the note into his pocket as Hannah retreated. He wouldn't read the note- it wasn't his, and he respected his best friend's privacy.

James (Remus) smirked. "Did Padfoot just get another love letter?"

"Maybe," said James casually. "I didn't read it."

"I wouldn't either," said Remus nervously. "Well, is it time to head out?"

"Not yet," said their fellow seventh year, Frank Longbottom, who played Keeper. "What about the famous Potter pep talk?"

Remus began stuttering, and James nudged him hard in the ribs, meaning 'Go with it.'

"Well," said Remus, his voice slightly higher than usual. " We've all trained hard, and we can beat the Slytherins." he sounded slightly unsure of himself, though.

"Now, lets get out there."

"That's the shortest pep talk we've ever got," said Hannah, laughing. "You usually go on forever, James."

Sirius (James) went slightly red, and said curtly, "Well, it doesn't matter. We should get out there now."

The team nodded, grabbed their brooms, and one by one left the Gryffindor changing rooms. The first one out- Sirius, was greeted by the Gryffindor supporters with a tremendous roar, with a several boos heard from the Slytherins, which he ignored. Mundungus Fletcher could be heard doing the commentary. " Here we have the Gryffindor team- Black, Gessen, Longbottom, Morgan, Klenson, Reynolds aaaaaannnd... POTTER!" The stands exploded with cheers as James Potter stumbled into the pitch, looking unsteady and dazed.

"And here we have the Slytherin team," said Fletcher with less enthusiasm. " Here's Nott, Hilson, Bradley, Vallers, Thompson, and Black." Sirius scowled from the stands as his younger brother strode haughtily unto the pitch.

"Captains, shake hands!" Madame Hooch barked. Remus and Regulus strode forward, (Remus less confidently) and shook hands. Regulus had a strange expression on his face- the usual Slytherin sneer, contemption, and the famous Black attitude all rolled into one. And even though the looks one their faces were much different, he looked just like Sirius, and that gave Remus an eerie feeling. Remus realized that the bone braking feeling in his hand left, and Madame Hooch was shouting, "Mount your brooms!" and the team did just that.

"Ready... three... two... one... " she blew her whistle loudly, and everyone shot up from the ground. They rose higher and higher, above the stands. James was about to lurch forward to swing at a Bludger, when his broom began to vibrate. He looked confused, and stared around at his team-mates. They were also looking at their brooms with perplexed faces. James knew something was wrong when he heard Regulus sniggering.

"Uh oh," all the players seemed to think at once. The power that James had put to go forward, shot him backward. "What the-" he cried, as his broom propelled backward. A Bludger nearly collided with his head, but he hit it with all his might at the Slytherin Chasers, and it sent them scattering, in search of the Quaffle.

Remus was having just as much difficulty. One of his fellow Chasers- Reynolds, had managed to catch the Quaffle, and tossed it backwards to Remus, who to his surprise, caught it. He then threw it to Morgan, who with difficulty, looked behind her and tossed the Quaffle. The Slytherin Keeper was so busy laughing at the Gryffindor's difficulties, that he wasn't paying attention and Gryffindor scored.

"Ten- zero Gryffindor!" Mundungus cried. "And I say- what is wrong with the Gryffindor's brooms?" he boomed as Gessen shot backwards twenty feet.

James bellowed to Hannah- "Catch the Snitch quick! We can't play like this!"

"Jam- I mean, Sirius look out!" screamed Remus. But it was too late- a Bludger hit him in the back, knocking the wind out of him.

Below in the stands, Sirius, Lily, and Peter were screaming hoarsely. "JAMES!" Sirius and Lily (actually them) cried together. The girl next to them looked at them strangely.

"That's Sirius," she said, as if they had gone crazy. "You should know that- you two are his best friends." They ignored her, and screamed together, "FOUL!"

Madame Hooch blew her whistle and darted to where James was wheezing. "Are you alright, Black?"

James couldn't answer, he was too busy coughing. "Time out," Madame Hooch yelled. "Let the boy catch his breath."

In the stands, Sirius was cursing like a sailor. "That was my brother who hit James." he concluded, red in the face. "I'll kill him."

"Calm down, Sirius." said Peter (Lily) soothingly. "He'll be fine." but she didn't sound calm herself.

James took a deep breath, and managed to gasp, "I'm okay."

"Gryffindor penalty shot!" Madame Hooch barked. "Potter, take the shot!''

Remus, trembling, and took the Quaffle from Madame Hooch. James gave him a reassuring smile, and Remus steadied himself, aimed, and to his amazement- scored.

Remus and James high-fived, and the crowd erupted in cheers. "Twenty-zero Gryffindor,"bellowed Mundungus over the racket. "After Potter scores on the fowl made by Regulus Black!"

Regulus' pale face reddened, and he hit the Bludger again in anger.

"Now," said Madame Hooch. "What do we do about the brooms?"

"They must be malfunctioning," said a Slytherin dopily.

"That," said Madame Hooch. "Is obvious."

James just wanted to end the game quick, though he was glaring at the Slytherins knowingly. "We just want to finish," he said.

"Are you sure?" she inquired.

"Yes," said Frank Longbottom. " We'll have our brooms checked later." he pleaded. "Just let us finish!"

"Very well," sighed Madame Hooch. She blew her whistle again, and they were off.

"Hey Longbottom," Regulus called, gliding forward. "How do you like your broom now?" he glanced at the brand name shining gold on the handle. "You only have a Cleansweep? My father bought me a top-of-the-line Comet, but at least it doesn't--"

"You jinxed our brooms, didn't you?" Frank asked angrily."

"Maybe, Longbottom." Regulus smirked, as they heard Mundungus groan. "Twenty-ten." Frank whipped around, seeing that a Slytherin Chaser had just scored.

"You foul little-" he began, but Regulus had already zoomed away, laughing.

"And still no sign of the Snitch," Mundungus's voice boomed across the stadium. "And watching the Gryffindor's hexed brooms is difficult, but I'm sure they'll pull through. I mean they'd better- I bet thirty galleons on it!"

"Fletcher!" McGonagoll barked.

Hannah was flying high above the crowd, squinting around for the Snitch, when she saw a flicker of gold, charged forward, but forgot about her broom's condition and was propelled backwards. Groaning, she realized that it was just the flicker of a wrist watch. Then she felt something sharp cut into her neck. Wincing, she reached into her hood, and gasped it delight as her thin fingers scrambled across something that felt like a walnut with wings--

She pulled it out of her hood, holding the Golden Snitch triumphantly in her fist. She was now realizing how the broom worked, and shot up and backwards, making her actually shoot down and forward. She was waving her fist triumphantly. "I caught the Snitch!" she cried. "When I went backwards, it got caught it my hood!"

"I knew it was good to order the uniforms with hoods this year," James laughed, as Mundungus announced the outcome of the game to a joyous audience.

" GRYFFINNOR WINS! ONE HUNDRED-SEVENTY TO TEN! IT APPEARS THAT THE GRYFFINDOR SEEKER CAUGHT THE SNITCH IN HER HOOD BY GOING BACKWARDS!

Regulus looked pouty that his reverse spell he and the other Slytherins had put on the Gryffindor's brooms had lost them the game. Hannah was engulfed by her team mates, all of which were cheering and hugging her. Remus was so relieved that the game was over that he kissed her on the cheek, and she giggled and blushed. (She had a slight secret obsession with her friend's boyfriend.)

They lifted the small girl onto their shoulders. Sirius, Lily and Peter joined them, bounding up and down cheering. They each hugged James and Remus and congratulated the team on yet another victory over Slytherin.

"Great job on that score, Remus!" Sirius yelled over the noise of the celebrating students. "We all knew you could do it!" Sirius's face hardened as he faced James. "I am going to kill Regulus for that foul, James- I swear."

James waved his hand dismiss fully, and pointed behind them. Sirius, James, Remus, Peter, and Lily watched in amusement as Regulus threw his precious broom on the ground and stomped on it. The handle cracked and the wood split in half, leaving him with a broken broom. " Don't waste your time on him." James said.

The party that followed was one of the best thrown in years. The Marauders nicked food from the kitchens, they had the famous Marauder entertainment, and swooning girls crowded around the Quidditch players- making Remus highly uncomfortable.

The party went late into the night- and around the middle of the night, the Gryffindors remembered that they had school the next day and began to head to their dormitories. The five friends, however, remained comfortably seated around the roaring fire.

"There's one obstacle out of the way," said Remus cheerfully. After the game he felt as though a large weight was lifted of his shoulders.

"But there's one to take it's place." Lily pointed at the notice board knowingly. "It must have slipped my mind." There was a large notice for the Yule Ball. The Marauders sighed.

"It's that time of year." said Peter.

"Hopefully we'll be back to ourselves by then. I don't want to think about it if we're not." They all knew she was dreading not being able to spend the evening with her boyfriend.

"Well, James and Lily have dates, obviously." said Sirius." But what about us?"

"Oh, please," said Lily. "Every girl in the school wants to be with one of the Marauders!" she didn't say "Except Peter" to spare his feelings.

"Really?" Peter asked hopefully.

"I don't see why not!" Lily cried, lying again.

"Oh," said James, remembering the note Hannah had given him for Sirius. "Um- Padfoot, Rachel wanted you to have this." he handed the note to a puzzled Sirius.

Sirius unfolded it, and his smile grew as he read the note. "She wants to go out with me. I have a date."

Lily giggled. "She finally got the guts to tell you-- even if it is in a note!"

"And," said Sirius. "She says that Hilary wants to go with Remus but was too shy to ask."

Remus perked up. "Really?" he asked eagerly. Sirius shoved the note to him. "See for yourself, Moony."

Sure enough, there it was. Remus blushed, and handed the note back to Sirius.

"Oh, Remus," said Lily happily. "She was absolutely _dying _to tell you, but she was too shy!"

"Well," said Peter. "That leaves me." The Marauders glanced around, not saying anything- once again, sparing their friend's feelings.

**Sorry for any spelling mistakes! I don't have a word checker!**

**A/N: And now to make a shout-out to all of my reviewers, that I have forgotten to make before now. I _really _hope that I don't forget anybody, and if I do, I'm sorry. I'm trying to write this with a visual migraine. I've been sick a lot lately. Oh, and in this chapter, I named Hagrid's dog Tank in memory of my sister's old pit bull. Tank is related to Fang. He is like his great great grandfather or something. I have decided that there will be 2 more chapters. I was trying to take a nap today, and was thinking of the story, then BAM! I had a brilliant idea of how the story should end, and raced to the computer to finish typing this chapter now that my writer's block has been removed. On with the shout-outs!**

**Cine (loves Sirius: Sorry that I didn't update soon, I never really do... I am constantly writing, though I don't post everything I write. I am currently writing a story called 'How I Came to be Snuffles,' that I am enjoying, it has lots of little one-year-old Harry! Anyway, if it takes me a while to post, don't worry. I have not abandoned this story. But sometimes homework and other junk get in the way.**

**SchaffyTaffy15: Thank you! I like it when I get reviews, they're the only thing that keeps me writing! I like hearing that you'll always read whatever comes out of this story! **

**Trinity Day: I'm sorry that it takes me so long to post... I spend a lot of time on homework. And it's hard to get my hands on the computer with five kids in my family. But don't worry, I have not abandoned this story.**

**espergirl04: I'm sure that I've confused anyone who's read this story- I confuse myself while writing it! The who's who reminders at the start of each chapter are for my benefit too! I guess that Sirius being Remus was predictable... but oh well, it works! Poor Sirius, it's not easy being Moony!**

**BluePhoenixFire: Thank you! I doubted myself while writing because I am very self-critical, and wasn't sure how good it was. But I'm glad you like it! It keeps me writing!**

**Puss No Boots: Cute screen name! Have you seen Shrek 2? I loved Puss in Boots. Anyway, thanks for reviewing! And yes I thought that it would be funny to have a ticklish Sirius!**

**Annmarie Aspasia: Yeah, you're completely right about Peter. Part of me wishes that Harry had let Sirius and Lupin kill Peter, but I also think that he might be useful somehow, without even meaning to. Didn't Harry give an interview to the Daily Prophet about the night he saw Voldemort return? Harry had to have mentioned that Pettigrew was still alive, and was the one who made the potion that brought Voldemort back. Maybe the MoM will catch Peter, give him a truth potion, and clear Sirius. He's not dead!**

**Frodo1512: Thanks for the review! I hoped you like this Quidditch scene, the werewolf transformation will be in the next chapter for Sirius. It'll be hard to right, that's for sure.**

**Chibi Zia: You might be confused, but you know who's who right! Do my charts at the start of each chapter help with your confusion?**

**Accio Flaming Stake: I'm glad you like the story. My main points in the story that I was going to right about were the Quidditch match, the werewolf transformation, and students being confused at everyone's alter-egos. I'll try to fit in a few funny classes, but it has to be a teacher that has been teaching there a long time, because I don't feel like making up an OC.**

**black-magic-roses: Thanks. I try to make this story funny... I hope I don't run out of ideas! **

**BlueDove: Yeah, it's confusing. If it's confusing reading it, I cannot tell you how hard it is writing it! I've had to re-do half a chapter because I got a character confused!**

**Padfoot the evil-elf: Yep. It's an alternate universe alright. I can't imagine Peter being bossy, but he's Peter-Lily. Poor Lily. And Remus is slightly crazy and evil with Padfoot in control, and everyone is sure to notice!**

**Eizoku: I've managed to write 5 chapters, and have been very confused. I'm not sure how many more chapters I'm going to write, I'll stop the story when I think of a good, funny place to stop. Keep reading!**

**all-american-tease: The first two chapters were fun to write, I had the idea for the story when I woke up in the middle of the night after dreaming it, so it was pretty much planned out. I think that that's the first time I've had a dream that I thought was brilliant and still did when I woke up in the morning! Do you know what I mean? -**

**Herculeha: I remember reading your review after I posted the first chapter, and it was one of the reviews that made me want to continue with Trading Places. And I'm glad I did, even though it takes me a while to post. I am strongly against slash, because once I read a story where there was no disclaimers, and I was in for quite the shock... and I vowed not to write that. Thanks for the review!**

**Amandinka: I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing!**


	6. The Werewolf Transformation

**Trading Places- chapter six**

The Transformation

A/N: I'm not feeling so great today. Because of snow, school had a 2 hour late start. But I had a temp of 100.8, and got to stay home and start on this chapter! I hope you like it- I'll try to be better about posting. But like I said in the last chapter, my writer's block has remarkably been lifted. There will only be one more chapter after this. I'm using just the character's name, not who's body they're in, that's for you to figure out. It depends on how you look at this- it could make it more or less confusing.

NOTE IN THIS CHAPTER:

Reviewer's Request: to mistress editor

'I would just, for kicks, put in the names of the bodies and let the readers try and figure out the characters. It's more fun that way, methinks.'

I will, in the next chapter. But I was already into this chapter when I got your review, and going back and changing all the characters was too confusing and I was afraid I would miss something, so I'll do your request next time, I promise!

Here it is again to help anyone with serious cases of confusion:

James- _is actually_ Remus inside

Sirius- _is actually _James inside

Remus- _is actually _Sirius inside

Lily- _is actually_ Peter

Peter- _is actually _Lily

When I say Sirius, that means Sirius. When I say Sirius (James) it is actually James- incase there is any confusion.

Here it goes...

The next morning's sunshine brutally woke up our favorite Gryffindors that Monday morning. They had only been asleep for three hours following the party for Gryffindor's victory. Lily gasped after she felt the sun on her face and checked her watch. "We only have ten minutes before classes!" she squealed. She shook each of the boys roughly out of bed, getting so impatient with Sirius that she simply pushed him onto the uncomfortable ground and let him wake up on his own.

"Hurry!" he yelled as she combed her short mousy brown hair that she was still not used to. James reached blindly around for his glasses, as Sirius searched madly for his tie. As usual, Lily went to the bathroom to change as the boys dressed in their dormitory. They greeted each other tossle-haired in the Common Room. Their shirt tails where hanging out past their vests, and their ties were very sloppily done. Lily sighed, straightened her own tie, and they each grabbed a handful of pretzels from the night before as their breakfast before hurrying to Transfiguration.

The five friends stumbled into the classroom two seconds before the bell rang, pink faced and gasping. Professor McGonagoll looked sternly at them.

"I'm sure that you had a smashing time at the party in your Common Room last night, but that gives you five no excuse to come to class looking as though you dressed in the dark." The corners of her mouth twitched in what could be said was a small smile. "And Pettigrew, the rosy color in your cheeks suits you very well." the class laughed, Peter's face flushed more, and the Marauders grinned appreciatively at their Professor's rare humor. They knew that she was cutting them some slack because she was so proud of them at the game yesterday.

Snape smirked sourly as the five Gryffindors sat in the row of desks in front of him. He was obviously put-out about Gryffindor flattening Slytherin.

"All right, Snivelly?" Sirius greeted Snape in the usual fashion, sounding less than in mock concern.

" Bug off, Lupin." Snape hissed as they passed.

" Manners, Snivellus," said Sirius, pretending to look offended.

"Lupin, sit down." barked McGonagoll, annoyed. " I'm surprised at you! I may reconsider my choice of letting your entrance slip."

"Yes, Professor." said Sirius dramatically, as he took his seat next to James, sticking his tongue out at Snape, who scowled and looked away.

"You're so hopelessly immature." said Lily.

"I know," said Sirius cheerfully. " But so is James."

"He's not the one acting like a five year old." Lily responded hotly.

"Well, I'm always on my best behavior around you, Lils." said James in a sickly sweet voice that made the others scoff.

"Pass the crisps, Pete."

It was lunch time, and the Marauders were discussing the upcoming full moon. Lily was absent at the moment. At the end of Transfiguration, McGonagoll had insisted that Peter stay behind and discuss his grades in the subject, and how he could improve them. This was a completely meaningless meeting to Lily, who was passing herself. Peter got off scotch free from McGonagoll's lectures for the time being.

Peter handed James the bowl of potato crisps. "So, Lils doesn't know about us being Animagus yet. What are we going to do? We can't leave Padfoot alone, who knows what he'll do," said James, shuddering.

"Run free and attack any moving thing I see moving," said Sirius honestly. "Now, let's think back to fifth year when we mastered becoming Animagus," he said quietly, so only his friends could hear. "If James is me, will he turn into Padfoot or Prongs?"

"Prongs," Remus answered quickly. "It determines his personality. He may look like you, but he's the same person."

'So," said Peter, thinking hard, and it showed on Lily's face. "I'll still be Wormtail, and James will Prongs. Padfoot won't be there. Moony will be Sirius for now, because-"

"Because I was bitten, and that is physical, not to do with personality, so Sirius will be Moony for now," said Remus glumly.

"But what about you, Remus?" asked James. "What will happen to you?"

"I'm not sure," said Remus slowly. "I never became an Animagus, so I can't transform. But I think that I should be there, incase something goes wrong."

"I agree," said James seriously. " You _are _the sensible one."

"Where would be without you?" cried Sirius, pretending to cry.

"Dead, or in jail most likely," said Remus honestly, recalling all of the things he had stopped them from doing. In first year, he had convinced them that they couldn't fly off of the Astronomy tower, no matter how hard they tried, and that if they stole any of Dumbledore's sweets, the consequences would be deadly, and that Professor McGonagoll would curse them if they ever called her Minnie. James and Sirius looked thoughtful, and decided that he was probably right.

"But I can't be there as a human, because if Sirius bites me, he'll also be a werewolf when we change back. Maybe one of you could transfigure me into some animal. That should last until one of you takes it off." He looked around at the evil faces on James and Sirius, and sighed. "You would take the charm off, wouldn't you?"

"Of course, Moony!" said Sirius, still grinning evilly. "What animal would you prefer? Or should we choose for you?"

"I'll pick for myself!'' said Remus quickly. "But what about Lily? How can we distract her while we sneak out? She is in our Common Room."

"And she's a light sleeper." said James through a mouthful of turkey sandwich. "When I was getting a drink of water last night, and tripped over Sirius's trunk which he had so kindly left in the middle of the floor--" Sirius grinned proudly. "Lily was the first one to wake up and laugh at- I mean, _help _me."

Sirius chuckled at his friend's memorable incident. "That reminds me, Padfoot. I found some very interesting objects while putting your belongings back in your trunk. Dog biscuits, for starters, some objects I am sure are illegal, well- more than usual..."

"I'll pay you five galleons to stop there!" Sirius shouted, rummaging around in his pockets, and dropping five galleons into the hands of his grinning friend.

"Oh!" Peter whined. "I wanna know!"

"Know what?" asked Lily, taking her spot at the table, causing Peter and James to move so that there was room for her. She piled food on her plate and looked at the others expectantly.

"Well, Wor- I mean Lils, we were just discussing the contents of Sirius's trunk that spilled out last night. The only clarified object was dog biscuits." said Remus. Sirius glared at him.

"Oh, the beef and liver flavored ones?" inquired Lily, while the others chortled.

"They're not so bad," said Sirius, with a wave of his hand.

"If you're a dog," James reminded him. "I was paid off, so I can't say anything else." He gave Lily a meaningful look.

"Oh, yes!" Lily cried, excitedly. "There was a stuffed animal- a black dog with a nametag that said Snuffles!"

Sirius turned red. "You saw- I mean, I do not!"

Lily rummaged through her History of Magic notes, looking for the notes on the more violent of goblin rebellions. James and Sirius were playing paper Quidditch. Sirius was making the goal post with his hands, while James, the Chaser, threw crumpled parchment resembling a Quaffle through the goals. Remus rolled his eyes, but watched in amusement, forgetting about his Charms essay.

"And Potter scores!" James cried, making a hissing noise like an audience cheering.

"Slytherin- 0, Gryffindor is around a million now..." Sirius went off, also providing the commentary.

Remus sighed. "Padfoot, if you're going to play an imaginary game of Quidditch, at least make the scores realistic!"

Sirius sighed, and put down his hands in defeat. "I'm just telling it like it is, Moony!"

"I was having fun watching!" Peter protested. "But James, where's the Snitch?" In response, James pulled the struggling golden Snitch from his pocket, and let it loose, before catching it with excellent reflexes.

Lily sighed, and muttered, "Boys," before getting back to work.

"Um, Prongs-" said Remus quickly. "You might want to put that away. The vulture's coming."

"Right," said James, storing the Snitch safely away. The Marauders put on innocent faces as Madame Pomfrey went by. She looked suspiciously down at them over her vulture like nose, waved her feather duster irritably, and gave them a look that said, "I'm watching you," before turning to go organize a bookshelf.

"How come everyone always thinks we're up to something?" asked Sirius in outrage.

"Because you always _are _up to something," answered Lily simply.

"We are not!" James argued.

"Oh, yeah?" asked Lily in a sinisterly sweet voice. "Then how did you wind up in this mess?"

"You're in this mess, too." Remus pointed out just as sweetly.

It was the morning of the full moon.

"Padfoot," James whispered, as he fastened his tie that morning. "You coming?" Sirius had been awake all night, trying to get to sleep over a hammering headache, and aching joints that Remus knew all too well, while running a temperature of over a hundred degrees.

Remus looked sympathetically down at his friend, knowing what Sirius was going through, and what he later would. He felt guilty for feeling slightly relieved that for once he wouldn't have to go through the werewolf transformation. Remus rummaged through his trunk and pulled out a bar of Honeyduke's Best Chocolate that he had purchased from their last Hogsmeade visit.

"Eat this, it'll help." Remus muttered, as he broke off a piece of the chocolate, leaving the rest on the bedside table incase Sirius wanted more.

"Mmmm," Sirius grunted, sitting up slightly. It was still unnerving to each of the Marauders when they spoke and heard their friend's voice, looked down at unfamiliar hands, and looked across the Common Room and saw yourself setting off a Dungbomb while you feel like you're only sitting there watching. Remus had the same feeling as he saw himself sit up in bed, and make a grab for the chocolate.

Sirius swallowed, and slowly, his pale face turned closer to a normal person's coloring. "Thanks, Moony."

"So, are you coming to class?" asked James as casually as possible. Sirius slowly shook his head.

"Are you sure, Sirius?" asked Lily, concerned.

Sirius nodded, looking too sick to speak. "I don't know how you can stand this, Rem." Sirius visibly paled again, and looked sick. James quickly retrieved a bucket from the bedside, and thrust it at Sirius.

"We promise that we'll stop by after class," said Lily, looking worried. "Are you sure that you don't want to go the Hospital Wing? At least there Madame Pomfrey can look after you."

" No thanks," whispered Sirius, lifting his head up from the bucket. "I don't want her fussing over me."

"Someone has to," cried Lily. "You aren't the type who can look after yourself well when they're sick."

"I'll be fine, Lils," Sirius reassured her. " Moony always is. Now get outta here, or you'll be late for class. Rem, take notes for me."

"Sure," said Remus, feeling like he could somehow repay the debt.

James slapped Sirius on the back, but regretted it almost immediately. Sirius gagged, and leaned over the bucket again. "All right," James said awkwardly, apologizing. He ruffled his friend's hair before following the others down the stairs, joining Peter in the Common Room, before exiting through the Portrait Hole.

Sirius sighed, and flopped back onto his pillow after his friends had left, broke off another piece of chocolate, and turned to the stuffed animal next to him. "Snuffles, this really bites." Sirius's eyes grew wide, and he thought that he had gone crazy when the dog nodded in agreement.

"I noticed that Lupin was gone today," sneered Snape as he got James, Remus, Peter, and Lily on their way to the Common Room. "Isn't the full moon tonight? Just make sure that he doesn't try to kill anyone this time."

The four friend's faces grew red with anger. "That's behind, us, Snape." James, (Sirius) said angrily.

"Oh really?" asked Snape, disbelieving. "And it's behind Potter as well?" he looked at Remus, who shifted uncomfortably.

"Yes," he mumbled.

"Black, you haven't been your usual ignorant, annoying self lately. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you had switched places with Lupin."

At that point, a fellow Slytherin was approaching Snape to have a chat, and the Marauders took the opportunity to get upstairs to check on their friend.

"What was Snape talking about?" as Lily in interest, as Lily in interest as Peeves bounced past them, carrying Mrs. Norris and being chased by a very angry Filch.

"Oh, nothing." said James. But knowing that Lily wouldn't believe him, he gave Remus a look as if asking for permission to tell the story. Remus nodded, so James continued. "Last year, Snape found out about Remus." he paused there. He didn't want Lily to be mad at Sirius for being the informant- he had to deal with that enough last year, and they had promised to bury the hatchet and not bring it up again. "And Snape ran into Remus in werewolf form. Luckily, I found out, chased after him, and was able to get him away from Remus before anything happened."

Lily seemed satisfied with his answer, and merely said, "Wow."

"Yeah." Remus said, grinning at James. "If it wasn't for James, I'd be a murderer, and in big trouble with the Ministry."

Lily grinned at James.

"Paaaadfoot!" James called as they entered the boy's dorm. "How you doing, mate?"

Sirius grunted, "Okay." His head was drooped sadly on the pillow, his eyes full of pain, and his brown hair stuck to his sweaty forehead. His skin was as pale as a ghost, but the Marauders were used to seeing Remus look like this before a full moon. But they were not used to remembering that at the moment, this was not Remus, but Sirius.

"I see you finished the chocolate," said Remus, indicating the empty chocolate wrapper.

Sirius mustered a small grin. "Yeah. I slept most of the day. Did I miss anything good?"

"Of course not." said James. "Just History of Magic and Potions. And Moony took notes for you." Remus dropped the pile of notes onto the table next to the chocolate wrapper.

"So, how are you feeling?" asked Lily.

"Like crap," answered Sirius hoarsely. "It only seems to get worse."

"I know," said Remus sympathetically. "That's because the moon is coming soon. We were just dropping our stuff off before heading to dinner. Do you want anything?"

"Chicken, please." answered Sirius. "And steak, and meatloaf sounds good too..."

Lily, James, and Peter all looked at Sirius, then Remus questionably. "All he wants is meat," said Lily.

"That's the wolf taking over," said Remus. "We'll run down to the Great Hall and bring you something." Remus looked at his watch, and frowned. "On second thought, it'll be getting dark soon. We need to take you to the Hospital Wing, and we'll bring dinner to you there."

Sirius nodded, and slowly sat up. James and Remus each put an arm around him to help him up, and then the five friends exited Gryffindor Tower. James and Remus were still helping Sirius, who was so weak he couldn't lift his head up. They reached the Hospital Wing, where Madame Pomfrey greeted them.

"Oh, Potter, Black, thank you for bringing him," said Madame Pomfrey graciously. James could tell that she was acting as normal as possible about Remus's condition, so his friends wouldn't be suspicious, not that it mattered.

James remembered that he wasn't supposed to know what she was talking about, and said, "Remus wasn't feeling well."

"Thank you, Black. I can take it from here," Madame Pomfrey led Sirius over to the nearest bed, which he collapsed into.

"He said that he wanted dinner," said Lily. "We can get it for him."

"Yes, thank you, Pettigrew." Madame Pomfrey said gratefully. "But not all sweets! Though some chocolate will do him good."

As the friends left for the Great Hall, they were sure that they had seen Sirius grin at the thought of more chocolate.

It was growing dark, and the Marauders were all sitting in the boy's Common Room, with the exception of Sirius. Lily was studying, and the Marauders had guiltily devised a plan to sneak out in the next thirty minutes, before the sun had fully set, without her noticing. They were going to mix some of an instant, dreamless sleep potion in with Lily's Butterbeer.

With his back turned, feeling extremely guilty but knowing it was for the best, James poured some of the purple potion into the bottle of Butterbeer, swirled it around, and screwed the cap back on. They passed around the drinks, and Lily received her's last.

Lily unscrewed her Butterbeer cap. "I feel so bad for Sirius," cried Lily. "He's all alone in the Shrieking Shack, sick, just waiting to transform."

The three boys shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sure he'll manage," Peter muttered.

"I just don't like it," said Lily, taking a swig of her drink.

James fiddled nervously with the hearth rug he was sitting on. Remus looked at her guiltily. Peter looked anywhere but at Lily, his eyes darting around.

"I mean, they should have discovered a potion by now to cure-" Lily's eyes suddenly became unfocused, and her head flopped back, instantly snoring.

The Marauders lifted her onto the bed, and covered her with a comforter. James opened his trunk and retrieved his wand, the Marauder's Map, and his Invisibility Cloak. Remus and Peter grabbed their wands and fastened their cloaks for warmth.

"So, what animal have you decided on for us to transfigure you into?"

"I haven't really thought about it," said Remus honestly. "I was too worried about Sirius. I'll turn into a fox, I guess."

"Excellent," said James, fingering his wand.

"Not now," said Remus quickly. "Wait until we get to the Whomping Willow at least!"

With that, James threw the Invisibility cloak over himself, Remus, and Peter, unfolding the Marauder's Map.

"Lumos," said Remus, and the tip of his wand lit. "It's clear. Let's go."

Peter pushed open the Portrait Hole, and they exited. The Fat Lady looked around sleepily in confusion for who had left. "Who's there?" she asked through a yawn. When there was no answer, the portrait swung shut behind them. They marched through the corridors, heading towards the grounds, when they heard a familiar voice. It sounded like Remus, though they knew it was Sirius.

"Where are we?" he asked in confusion.

"On our way to the Whomping Willow, dear." said Madame Pomfrey softly.

"Okay," said Sirius hoarsely.

They silently followed behind Madame Pomfrey and Sirius, who was barely shuffling his feet. They left through the Entrance Hall, and out into the dewy grounds. Madame Pomfrey and Sirius cautiously approached the Whomping Willow. Madame Pomfrey picked up a large branch, and touched the knot on the tree, which instantly froze in place. "Hurry, now, Remus. Before it turns back. I would follow you, but it would be too dangerous. I'll be back at sunrise.

Sirius grunted to show he heard her, and slowly crawled through the opening in the foot of the tree. James removed the cloak, and hid it safely beside the tree as soon as they were sure Madame Pomfrey was gone.

Peter transformed into a rat, and held his paw on the tree knot, to keep it from unfreezing as the others transformed. James got out his wand, and pointed it at Remus. "Are you ready, Moony?"

Remus nodded, took a deep breath, and closed his eyes as James uttered the incantation. Remus felt himself transform- though it wasn't neatly as unpleasant as a werewolf transformation. He felt himself shrink close to the ground. James smiled. "Perfect."

Remus looked down at his hands, which were now paws, white paws, though his fur was black, the color of Sirius's hair.

James transformed into the stag, Prongs, and the four friends entered into the tunnel leading to the Shrieking Shack. They found Sirius, barely conscious, lying in the corner.

"You're here," he gasped. "H-how did you get past Lils?"

James transformed to answer. "Sleeping potion."

"Nice," gasped Sirius, and he grinned when he saw the fox that had the same black hair and hazel eyes as James did. "Remus?"

The fox nodded. Wormtail looked around and jumped on the piano, to get a better look at his surroundings.

James gulped when he saw the moonlight streaming in through the window, and said, "You ready Padfoot?"

Sirius's response was, "Do I have a choice?" As soon as he had uttered those words, he let out a blood curdling scream, and writhed on the ground where he lay. James and Peter had always hated watching the transformations, and they had trouble believing that it was Sirius in front of them. Remus was watching with wide eyes, he had never actually _seen _a transformation. James quickly turned back into a stag.

Remus winced. It was like watching his own transformation on film, yet it wasn't him- it was Sirius. He wouldn't wish that transformation on his worst enemy- and certainly not on one of his best friends. He wanted to close his eyes, as did James and Peter, but they were transfixed on their friend, who was turning from human to wolf before their eyes. His face was lengthening, and his hands were turning into clawed paws. Seconds later, in the Shrieking Shack stood a stag, a rat, a werewolf, and a fox.

At first the werewolf looked confused at his surroundings. But his eyes showed recognition. He seemed to know his friends and his environment, but it was _himself _the wolf seemed confused with. It was as if the wolf was asking, "What's going on here?"

The wolf glanced out of the window, put back his head and howled, before taking a running leap and crashing down the stairs. The wolf rolled to the bottom of the stairs, growled, and saw his reflection in the mirror opposite him. Prongs, Wormtail, and Remus were not far behind. They watched in slight amusement as the wolf edged towards the mirror, the fur on his back sticking up, and growled at his reflection in the mirror. He reached out a sharp paw and slashed at the mirror, cracking it more than the original Moony already had. The glass shattered, and some fell to the floor. The werewolf growled at the glass as it fell to the floor, but wasn't stupid enough to trod through them.

The wolf suddenly stood stock still. His ears perked up and he sniffed the air. If the other animals could speak English in this state, they would have said, "Uh-oh."

Before anyone could stop him, the werewolf bounded towards the exit, with his friends in tow. The werewolf, truly being Sirius Black, a mischievous Marauder, knew how to get past the boarded- up windows and doors and into the village of Hogsmeade. There was a doggy door in the front door, that he and James had cut out in their fifth year while on a Hogsmeade visit. But no one knew that of course, the villagers were too scared to come near the Shrieking Shack. It had been dubbed the most haunting dwelling in Britain. The door was designed for a creature as small as a rat, or as big as a stag to fit through.

They had no choice but to follow the wolf. It dashed into some nearby woods, and through a gap in the trees, in the distance, they saw a man with a Muggle gun, apparently hunting for a certain creature that only came out one night a month. The man had blood glistening on his shirt, but it didn't look like it had been an accident. The man must have purposely smeared blood on himself to attract the beast easier. The wolf was oblivious to this, all he cared about was getting at the man. And his friends didn't know what to do. Surely, if they made a noise, the man would shoot them. Then how would they be able to help their friend?

So they remained silent, stayed low to the ground, (this was hard for Prongs) and followed Sirius. There was no way they could warn him. Their hearts were beating quickly and their breathing was shallow. This could not end happily... they had to get out now.

SNAP! Too late. There was a small whimpering noise, and hurried footsteps. Prongs motioned for Wormtail to check it out, as he was the hardest to spot. Wormtail scurried through the grass, and just as quickly, scurried back, squeaking frantically and motioning with his front paw for the others to follow. They turned the corner, past some tall pine trees, and into a small, grassy clearing. The ground was green, yet black. And along with the green, was red. The werewolf seemed to be in too much pain to make much of a noise. His front paw was trapped in what was obviously a Muggle contraption that he had never seen before. It was cold metal, in the shape of two half circles, with what looked like large, sharp metal teeth. They were grabbing the wolf just above the ankle, and was stained with blood.

"I've gotcha' now!" bellowed a man with a voice that sounded stupid with drink. "Don't you move, it'll only hurt more!"

His footsteps grew closer. "Why don't I just take you out of your misery?"

Remus darted forward, weaving in between the trees, and saw that the man was at least thirty feet away still. The fox tugged at the metal contraption with his teeth, but the wolf howled with pain, and he decided that that wasn't the best idea. He looked around for help, and saw James, as a human, emerge from the trees, his wand outstretched, approaching the werewolf cautiously.

The wolf stopped growling, and looked up at James. The fox's eyes were wide with surprise. He made an irritated motion with his bushy tail. "What are you doing? You'll be killed!" was what the fox was communicating.

"Helping," was James response. He edged closer to the wolf, who had an odd look in it's eyes. Recognition, again, but also confusion, and the want to attack. "Sirius, we need to get out of here."

The wolf looked confused, down at his paw, and whimpered. "That's right," said James. "I can help you."

The werewolf took a step forward, and stopped, wincing. "There you are!" the man had finally arrived. He was barely five feet tall, and overweight, wearing a red cloak and a bloodstained shirt.

"Who're you?" he asked, looking at James, and James's wand.

"Who're you?" James asked right back.

The man grinned, and James saw that he was missing half of his yellow teeth. "I asked you first."

"My name is James," James said, annoyed that the full grown man in front of him was acting like a five year old. "And I would appreciate it if you put down that rifle."

"Why?" sneered the man, raising the gun at level with James face. "You want the beast loose?"

"He's not a beast," said James steadily. "He's my friend, and he's hurt. Please just let us get out of here."

"How do I know that that friend of yours isn't going to run loose and kill another one of my sheep?" the man gestured with his gun through the trees, where James knew there was a small farm, but he had been the werewolf, and it had certainly never killed anything.

"Because he didn't do that. It was probably a dog, or a regular wolf. A werewolf's preferred prey is humans, not sheep." James pointed out.

"Well then, I'm not a fully- umm, you know, trained wizard. I'm a Squib, and I know about werewolves. Ain't you afraid that he's going to bite you?"

"No," said James. "Just let us leave."

James could tell that this was a gullible man who could be easily persuaded, but what he didn't know was that the man was just determined to kill _something, _and that he wasn't really worried about werewolves at all. James knew for a fact that the so called farm only had chickens and cats, and a cow or two. "At least let me kill the fox! Or is the fox your friend, too?" Remus stood stock still, afraid that if he moved, he would be shot.

"As a matter of fact, yes." James answered. "So is the rat."

The man chuckled. "You could open a zoo, with all of your animal friends! I think you ain't telling the truth, you're just some hippie--"

The man pulled out his rifle again, and aimed it first at the werewolf, and then at the fox. He was about to pull the trigger, when James yelled, "STUPEFY!" The man froze in place, James performed a spell to break the weapon that had his friend's ankle in a death grip, and magically splinted his leg so he could leap away. The werewolf nipped angrily at the man's ankles before dashing off after his friends, while limping on his front paw. The man unfroze, and fired wildly into the distance, hoping to hit one of them. A bullet missed James head by a mere inch, and one bounced off a tree and almost hit Remus in the chest. They emerged safely from the forest, breathing deeply.

The four creatures looked at each other, grateful that all of them had got out alive. The werewolf looked at the splint on his ankle, and instantly started tearing at it, annoyed. The rat was trembling with fear, the fox looked weary, and the stag was already thinking of what they could do next to pass the time, without nearly being killed.

The four creatures trekked back up to the Shrieking Shack. They moved slowly, to stay with the injured wolf, who was limping heavily on one paw. They went through the dog- rat-wolf-stag door, and into the gloomy and gray Shrieking Shack. The werewolf immediately sat down, and examined the wound on his ankle. The fox glanced at the grandfather clock- it was 1:53 in the morning. This was going to be a long night, and they had had their share of excitement for the time being.

The stag nudged the fox, and nodded towards Wormtail, who had fallen asleep. They heard a scratching sound- the wolf was attacking himself, as werewolves were known to do when deprived of human prey. The floor was stained with blood, not that it hadn't been before. The fox and the stag exchanged worried looks, knowing that their friend had lost way too much blood, from his wound and self-mutilation, for the wolf's eyes became unfocused, and he slowly sank to the ground, unconscious, as two of his friends looked on.

The next morning, the sun rose bright and early. Wormtail was the first one to sleepily open his eyes. He saw that James and Remus had fallen asleep, and Sirius was back, still looking like Remus. He transformed back into a human and nudged the stag, and then the golf, trying to rouse them. He left Sirius to rest.

The stag slowly opened his eyes, looked around the room, remembered where he was, and turned back into his human state, as did Remus. They looked down at their dozing friend, knowing they had to leave soon before Madame Pomfrey came and discovered them there.

Casting one last look at his friend, who was holding his arm at a very strange angle, he nodded to Remus and Peter. "Let's go. Before Pomfrey gets here."

As they were walking down the stairs, James removed the Marauder's Map from his cloak pocket, and examined it. He glanced around the grounds, flipped the map, and saw that Madame Pomfrey was just outside the Hospital Wing door, and coming their way. "Okay, if we hurry and put on the Invisibility Cloak, we should be able to get past her."

"Remus, your dad was a Muggle," said Peter. "Do you know what that was that got Sirius?"

"A bear trap," said Remus grimly as they entered the tunnel, ducking low so they wouldn't hit their heads on the low roof. "Hunters use them, so that the animal will step in it, get caught, and be stuck until the hunter comes to find them. My- I mean, his arm looks bad, it definitely broke the bone, he could have lost his hand! There will be a lot of damage done. Madame Pomfrey should be able to fix the bone, but he'll have some trouble."

"How much longer until we turn back to ourselves?" asked Peter, in Lily's voice. "I don't think I can listen to another night of giggling and gossiping! I can't sleep!"

"I thought you could sleep through anything!" said James slyly.

"I'd say two days." said Remus. "Because we had just had a full moon a couple days before this happened."

They reached the tunnel exit, and stumbled out of the hole. James got up, and quickly threw the cloak over the three of them, and they set off at a jog towards the school, passing Madame Pomfrey on their way. They didn't meet anyone else that Saturday morning in the corridors, everyone was sleeping in. They arrived, breathless, in the Common Room and found that Lily was still asleep. They took advantage of this, and changed out of the torn and dirt streaked robes, into clean robes, brushed their hair, and had time to wash the dirt smudges from their faces before Lily groggily sat up in bed.

Lily yawned, and looked around sleepily. "What time is it?"

"Seven thirty," James answered, as he ran a comb trough straight, eye length black hair that he knew he could never get used to. "We were on our way to the Hospital Wing to see Sirius."

Lily still looked asleep, her eyes barely open. The effects of the Sleeping Potion was still wearing off. Peter's face showed confusion, as Lily spoke, "You are Sirius," she yawned. "Oh yeah, that... you're James. Yes, I'll come, just give me a minute."

He stumbled into the bathroom, and shut the door behind him. Remus sighed. "That really was a cruel trick we played on her."

James laughed bitterly. "Isn't every trick we pull cruel?"

The others nodded guiltily, and Lily emerged a few seconds later, saying cheerfully, "I feel so much more awake after washing my face with cold water! Now, let's go."

They walked at a brisk rate towards the Hospital Wing, and when they arrived at the Infirmirary door, James knocked briskly three times and stood back. Madame Pomfrey opened the door, and said, "You can see him, he's awake now. Just eating breakfast- but don't stay too long. He needs rest."

Madame Pomfrey bustled off to retrieve another potion, and the four Gryffindors entered, and approached their friend's bedside, each pulling up a chair. He was sitting up, with a mound on fluffed, starchy white pillows behind his back. On a tray in front of him was breakfast- a bowl of porridge, orange juice, grapes, and a bar of chocolate, which Sirius obviously hadn't saved for dessert.

"How are you doing?" asked Lily anxiously, examining his wrist, which was wrapped in a thick, wrap-around bandage. "What happened?"

"Oh, that." said Sirius casually. He winked at James, Remus, and Peter so that Lily couldn't see, and replied, "I can't remember."

"Well, what's wrong with it?" asked Lily urgently.

"I broke my wrist, tore some tendons, snapped some veins, there was a lot of blood and gore, I nearly tore my hand off..."

Lily looked as though she was going to be sick. "Okay, I get it, I get it!"

"You sure you don't wanna see?" asked Sirius, pretending to pull back the bandage.

"I'm sure, thank you!" said Lily in a high pitched voice, that, of course, came out as Peter's voice and made them all laugh.

Sirius popped a grape in his mouth with his good hand, and observed that his friends were staring at the food. "Want some?"

Lily shook her head. "No- Sirius, you need it. I'll just stop by breakfast."

"Yeah," said Remus, agreeing with Lily. "Thanks, but you keep it."

Peter eyed the food hungrily. "Can I have some chocolate."

Sirius narrowed his eyes, and grabbed the chocolate, and gave Peter a very realistic growl that sounded like a mix of Padfoot and the werewolf. "Not the chocolate," said Sirius, sounding very much as Remus did after the full moon. His friends laughed, quietly, so Madame Pomfrey couldn't hear them.

James stole a few grapes, and guessed that Sirius didn't mind because he wasn't growled at. "So, when are you getting out of here?"

Sirius shrugged. "She wants me to take a few potions and sleep before she lets me go- so I'd say around noon. And if I'm not, I'll sneak out."

"We roughly estimated when we would change back," said Remus. "It could be any time from now until two days from now,"

"Really?" asked Sirius. "No offense to you, Moony- but I hate this werewolf business, I want myself back!"

"None taken," said Remus fairly. '' I wouldn't want to me right now either."

Madame Pomfrey stormed out of her office. "All right, that's enough, OUT!" she pointed towards the door, and James, Lily, Remus, and Peter leaped from their seats, waved to Sirius, and dashed to the Great Hall for a late breakfast.

That afternoon, James, Remus, Peter, and Lily were all playing a game of wizard chess. James and Remus were in a fierce game, running neck in neck so it was impossible to tell who was going to win. Lily and Peter were watching, while having a side conversation about Charms.

James felt something small and round hit him in the back of the head. "What was that?" James wondered out loud, and felt behind himself. It was a piece of popcorn. "Where'd that come from?" Lily, Peter, and Remus shrugged. Remus gave an irritated sigh when a piece of popcorn hit him in the back of the head. When one hit Lily, she yelled, annoyed, "Sirius! I know it's you!"

Sirius jumped up from behind the couch, and vaulted over the back, seating himself next to James. In his hands was a bag of popcorn he had gotten from the kitchens. He offered his friends the bag, "Popcorn?"

James took a handful. "It's nice to have you back, Padfoot."

"I know," Sirius grinned. "What would you do without me?"

"Have a _lot _more quiet time," Lily answered honestly, laughing.

The next Sunday morning, the Marauders woke up feeling slightly relieved- they would be themselves again by the time they went back to bed. They spent the day lounging in the Gryffindor Common Room, answering the occasional question on their Herbology worksheet. James and Sirius bought some illegal fireworks from Mundungus Fletcher, and everyone was generally in a good mood.

Around ten o' clock that night, James, Sirius, Remus, Lily, and Peter snuck out under the Invisibility Cloak, and towards the empty bathroom. Lily insisted that they return to the bathroom to retrieve the extra potion so that some poor soul wouldn't find it and get into the same mess that they had. James and Sirius, however, had other plans.

They corked the last bottles of the potion, and told Lily the potion had been disposed of. Then, they waited.

The five seventh years were seated on the cold stone floor, backs to the wall. Moaning Myrtle floated from her cubicle, and gave a sheik, "Boys! Boys again! In the girl's bathroom!'' she gave the four boys a disgusted look and soared back to her toilet.

Remus checked his watch. "Any second now,"

The five teenagers each took deep, collective breaths as they waited.

"Is it time yet?" Peter whined.

James was about so snap, "No," when they felt the change come over themselves. The room began to spin, and the five teens shook violently, and as sudden as this started, it stopped.

Sirius looked down at his hands, and ran his fingers through his hair, a smile on his face. Lily examined her tangled red hair which Peter had obviously not had the clue to brush. James adjusted his glasses, and ran his hand through his coarse hair that stood up on its ends. Remus saw his pale reflection in the bathroom mirror, the familiar brown hair, and the cast on his wrist. Peter looked overjoyed, even though he still had a face that resembled a rat. Oh, it was good to be back.

They trekked back up to the Gryffindor Common Room, and stopped at the stairs. James kissed Lily for the first time in a month, and they all bid her farewell as she skipped up the stairs to re-join her friends, and the Marauders returned to the boy's dorm.

Peter flopped back on his bed, and Sirius chuckled, holding up a pink nightgown that Lily had left behind. "Wormtail, these are your pajamas! Or at least what you've worn for the past month!"

Peter scowled, and threw the nightgown on the floor, his face red with embarrassment.

Each of the Marauders got ready for bed, but didn't fall asleep until hours later. They joked and poked fun at the last month, and everything that they had been through.

"Rise and shine!" Lily shook each of the Marauders awake the next morning. "Come on, we'll be late!"

She remembered what James had told her about how to wake them up. She told James that he was late for Quidditch, wafted chocolate in front of Remus, pushed Peter, and tickled Sirius. In no time, they were running around the dormitory, getting ready for school. Lily smiled to herself, and she led the way down the stairs and into the Common Room.

"Do I need to escort you four to breakfast?" asked Lily, putting out her arm. "Yes," said James, linking arms with her and kissing her cheek. Sirius linked arms with Lily on her other side.

Hannah, Hilary, and Rachel rose from the sofa where they had been seated. Alice had already left for breakfast with Frank. Rachel linked arms with Sirius. On James's other side was Hilary and Remus- who was blushing. Hannah grudgingly linked arms with Peter, and they walked to breakfast. Sirius remembered the note that Rachel had given him, and knew that she was waiting for an answer.

"Rachel, would you like to go to the ball with me?" Sirius asked hopefully, knowing the answer.

"Of course!" Rachel cried, beaming from ear to ear. How long had she waited to hear him say those words? Remus felt his cheeks grow an even pinker- he _had _liked Hilary for some time. Sirius had no problem, Rachel said yes to him. _How hard can it be? Get it over with! _Remus told

himself.

"Umm.. Hilary," said Remus, looking into her light blue eyes.

"Yes?" she inquired, smiling.

"W-would you like to go to the ball with me?" Remus stammered.

Hilary sighed dramatically. "I thought you'd never ask." she stood on her tiptoes and kissed Remus on the cheek, and he blushed more, if that was possible. His friends smirked, and James and Sirius winked.

"Was that so hard?" Sirius mouthed.

There was an awkward silence between Peter and Hannah. Peter rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Hannah, I was thinking..."

Hannah sighed, and looked at Lily, who smiled sweetly, saying go on. Hannah thought that the dance was so soon, and she didn't have a date yet, so what could she lose? And, she knew that if she paid them, Lily, Hilary, or Rachel might let them _borrow _one of their dates for a song or too.

"Okay," she said, before Peter could finish stuttering his question. He breathed a sigh of relief, and the four couples walked to breakfast, linked arm in arm.

**Not The End.**

**A/N:**

**One more chapter after this! I wouldn't leave you hanging like that! The next and final chapter will have the Winter Ball, and a conclusion that I have been planning the whole story. Sorry about any typos. Was it long, or what?**

**THANKS TO MY REVIEWERS: drumer girl, MoNiKA BaTcH, Anonymous (whoever you are), Midnight -Raven13, Puss No Boots, Leo of the stars, espergirl04, lilypad007, and mistress editor. **


	7. The Yule Ball

**Trading Places**

**Chapter 7- The Yule Ball (The final chapter)**

**Chapter summary: In this last chapter of _Trading Places, _James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Lily are back to how they're supposed to be. The Marauders have to go shopping, and go to the Yule Ball. Includes an—interesting ending.**

**A/N: I am a very bad snickerdoodle. I have not updated for a very long time. I am very sorry. I hope you enjoy this. And in this chapter, I didn't know Alice Longbottom's maiden name so I made it up.**

For boys at Hogwarts, with the exception of Ravenclaws, procrastination was very common. It was Saturday, the day before the Yule Ball, and a Hogwarts weekend, which was very convenient for four certain seventh year Gryffindors, who had not yet bought new dress robes.

After the Marauders had confessed to the girls that they did not yet have their dress robes, because they, with the exception of James, did not have dates until very recently, and had therefore not bothered looking for nice dress robes. James had no excuse, because he had had a date for a while now.

"What do you mean, you haven't even looked at dress robes yet?" Lily questioned James. "The ball is tomorrow, James!"

"I know," cried James, throwing his hands up in defense. " There hasn't been a Hogwarts weekend to go! Now there is, so I'll get it today."

"There'll be slim pickings," muttered Lily, who was now fastening a scarf around her neck in front of the warm common room fire. "Besides, don't you have any decent dress robes?"

"No," James said. "They're too short, and a horribly ugly paisley color."

Lily grimaced. "Where are the others, anyway?" she asked.

"They're just waking up," said James, struggling with a pair of boots he had outgrown since his last growth spurt. He was stomping about, trying to force his feet into boots two sizes too small that he had owned since fifth year.

"You know, it is nice that they scheduled a Hogwarts weekend for today," said Lily thoughtfully. " For people who need some finishing touches. I was thinking about buying a little handbag, you know. Maybe a broach—"

"Ooh, Lily," said Sirius, emerging from the bottom of the staircase, along with Remus and Peter. "Can I have a broach as well?"

"Well, Sirius," said Lily cheerfully, turning to face him. " If you really want a broach, I've seen this lovely one that would match the light blue color of your eyes very nicely—"

"I was kidding, Lils." Said Sirius quickly.

"Oh, but it would look so good on you," James teased, as he continued jumping around.

"Bugger off, Prongs." Said Sirius, his cheeks slightly flushed. "And I must say, I've never seen someone struggle so much to put on a pair of boots." Remus and Peter nodded in agreement.

"Ow!" Lily yelled as James stomped on her foot, and withdrew her wand from the pocket of her robes. "For heaven's sake, James! Engorgio!"

James was finally able to cram his foot into the boot, just as Rachel, Hilary, and Hannah emerged, giggling and gossiping.

"Ready?" Lily asked the others.

Seven 'yes's' could be heard in the now overcrowded common room. "Let's go, then."

The eight Gryffindors headed for the Entrance Hall, where Filch was tacking off names of the students heading for Hogsmeade. He scowled as he saw the group of Gryffindors approaching.

"Ah, Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew. You and these ladies won't be causing any trouble, now would you?"

"No, Mr. Filch," said Lily, putting on a sweet, innocent voice that made the Marauders grin. "We will make sure the boys won't be any trouble. Just picking up some dress robes,"

Mrs. Norris meowed up at them, and James and Sirius both felt a strong desire to kick her.

They joined the throng of students exciting into the grounds.

"So, Lily," said Sirius. "You're gonna make sure we're not any trouble?"

"Yes," said Lily. "Especially James. He's Head Boy, and really should be setting a good example,"

"Yeah, yeah," James muttered. They reached the horse drawn carriages, though none of them could see the Thestrals. Remus stepped forward and held open the door of the carriage as the four girls climbed in.

That carriage was filled up now, so Remus and the others waved and Remus swung the door gently shut. "See you," he called.

As Remus retreated with his friends to find another carriage, he heard Hilary giggling, "He's such a gentleman!"

James and Sirius chuckled, and Remus's face burned bright red. Peter giggled feebly, and they took the next free carriage before a gang of Slytherins could. Sirius rushed forward, wrenched the door open, and bowed, smirking as his friends ambled in. After Remus had cast Sirius an odd look and climbed in, Sirius followed, shutting the door behind him.

"They must think we're such jerks," sighed Peter. "Not having our robes yet."

"Well, we aren't exactly the only guys buying our robes today," cried James defensively.

"The girls ordered the gowns from Witch Weekly weeks ago," said Remus. "I saw the packages arrive at breakfast one morning."

"I wonder what Lily's gown looks like," said James in a faraway voice.

"Well, I was Lily when the dress came," said Peter. Silence followed as Peter stared blankly out the window.

"Well?" James and Sirius said impatiently.

Peter snapped back to earth. "Oh—it's green. Like her eyes. I didn't get to really look at it—as soon as I had opened it, she snatched it away—"

"What about the others?" asked Remus, looking absently at his hands.

"Hmmmm," muttered Peter, in deep concentration, trying to remember. It looked hard. "Rachel's was black… Hilary's was re- no, light blue, Hannah's was red."

"Did Lily mention which stores we're being dragged to?" asked Sirius idly.

"Gladrag's Wizardwear, I think," said James. "I can't believe we have to spend the day shopping when we could be seeing what's new at Zonko's."

"I hear you, mate." Nodded Sirius. "I never thought the Marauders would have to go shopping for anything but Dungbombs."

"How much further?" groaned Peter as they trudged through snow just below their knees in the bitingly cold winter wonderland that was Hogsmeade. The whole village was covered in snow—trees and the roofs of homes and shops were not even visible, and the windows glowed a pleasant gold through the snow.

"It's just down the road from here," answered Hannah impatiently, sweeping back her brunette hair that was sprinkled with snow.

"There it is!" cried Lily, pointing to Gladrag's Wizardwear. "It sure looks crowded—"

Lily was right. They entered through the mahogany doors and could hardly move an inch after that. The store was packed with students ranging from third to seventh years, all rummaging for some accessories and last minute exchanges. Sales clerks were bustling about, stressed, trying to find a dress a size larger or a hair clip that wasn't missing it's sequined butterfly that really flapped its wings.

"Excuse us," muttered James, pushing his way past a third year who looked close to tears that someone had bought her dress that was supposed to be reserved. "Pardon me, sorry…"

It was no use. The girl's friends chased after her as she ran crying into a changing room. Their empty spot was taken by a group of gossiping sixth year girls. "Excuse us…" Remus shouted, trying again, as he was squished against the wall by some seventh year Slytherins.

"That's not how you do it," said Sirius impatiently. "Oy! You lot! Get out of the way! MOVE IT!" He pushed forcefully past them, using his wand to zap people like a tazor, and they were finally able to walk five feet into the store. Sirius continued his method until they reached the men's clothes, where have the racks were stripped bare, and discarded clothes littered the floor. They heard a loud snap when Peter accidentally stepped on a wooden hanger and cracked it in half.

"There's not many choices," said Rachel to Sirius as she went through the clothes rack, and Sirius stood impatiently next to the rack with James. All of the robes seemed to have missing buttons or stains beyond cleansing, or were just in horrible colors that no man would ever be caught dead wearing.

"Let me see," Sirius skimmed the rack, and grabbed a black dress suit with a sweep flourish of his long arms. "How about this?"

"It has a tear," Lily pointed out.

"No problem," said Sirius drawing his wand. He pointed it at the tear and said, "Repairo!" As though an invisible hand with needle and thread were sewing the robe, the tear was mended. "There," said Sirius proudly. "Good as new."

"Remus," called Hilary. "Do you like this one?"

Remus, who had standing quietly with his hands in his pockets against the wall, moved forward to see what she was trying to show him. It was a handsome enough suit, in a light gray color. "It's nice," said Remus, amazed that he and Sirius had both found decent suits in a store so stripped of clothes.

James frowned as he looked through his options. There was a pink dress robe. He would never be caught wearing that, he could imagine the humiliation and taunting he would receive. James entertained himself with the thought of Snivellus wearing the hideous gown. Brown, no. Purple, no. Orange? Yeah right.

"Excuse me," a sales assistant pushed past James. "I have a few more items from the back room that just arrived—" The woman put three more robes on the rack, which James and Lily quickly seized.

"James!" Lily cried. "This is perfect!" She held up a midnight blue robe. "What do you think?"

"I think," said James, regarding the suit, "That I just got lucky."

"You sure did," said Sirius. "But James, don't you like the orange one better?" he laughed.

Peter looked quite flustered. "They're all too long!"

"And not wide enough?" Sirius suggested.

"Exactly!" Peter cried. "They obviously don't consider—"

Remus held up the pink robe. "Hey, Pete, I know this isn't exactly an—er—manly color, but it looks like it might fit."

Peter eyed the robe doubtfully. "All right, I'll try it on. I don't have much of a choice, and maybe we can try to change the color later—"

Remus tossed Peter the robe. "Right, we all have something to try on. Let's see if we can find changing rooms—"

Lily looked doubtfully at the lines for the changing rooms. "We won't be able to get in there for an hour at least…"

They stood in line behind a group of Hufflepuff fifth years, and waited. Sirius was looking at the wooden, well-lit ceiling hanging with shiny chandeliers, looking extremely bored. He looked down and spotted a manikin, which he strode over to. Sirius struck the same pose as the girlish manikin, and made all the girls giggle. James joined him in the pose, keeping a remarkably straight face. Several girls in the line started to point and laugh. Remus rolled his eyes. Peter looked quite gleeful. Sirius grabbed a pink hat with a green feather from the manikin's head, and placed it upon his own, making a simpering face and batting his eyelashes. James unwrapped a glittery, feathery boa from the manikin's neck and wrapped it around his neck. James removed the manikin's bright pink high heels, and slipped off his boots.

Remus muttered to a very red faced Lily, "You'd be surprised how often I've seen them do this."

The high heels made James at least three inches taller. Sirius found blue high heels in a nearby clearance rack, and followed James's suit. Before they knew it, they were pulling on random dresses from racks and pulling them on over their clothes. It was quite the sight to see. James and Sirius began parading around the aisles, doing a model strut. By now, Peter was rolling around on the ground laughing, Remus couldn't keep a straight face, and they had caught everyone's attention.

"Look at them!" a sixth year Gryffindor girl giggled. "Always good for a laugh, the Marauders are!"

Lily had gone very red in the face as she surveyed her boyfriend and his best friend. Sure, she was amused. But she was also embarrassed for them—and it felt shameful to admit it even to herself—but she was jealous. She supposed she was jealous that younger girls were looking at them so adoringly, but the real reason she felt jealous was that she was afraid James and Sirius looked better in dresses than she did, even with their robes underneath the dress, though she would never admit it.

"What's going on here?" a middle-aged, obese sales clerk pushed his way though the crowd to see what the sudden up burst of laughing was about. His droopy eyes scanned the room until he found the source of the commotion—James was still prancing and leaping about, and Sirius was doing an odd dance that involved much shaking of the rear.

"OY!" he bellowed, and James and Sirius froze, looking around, and the audience's attention moved to the sales assistant. "What in Merlin's name are you boys doing?"

His eyes passed over the naked manikin and the extra clothes that Sirius and James were wearing.

"We're modeling!" Sirius and James cried together, and the gaggle of girls whispered and chuckled behind their hands. The salesman's eyes went berserk, and he raised a short, chubby finger and pointed it at the door. "OUT!" he bellowed.

James and Sirius shrugged, and stripped off the clothes, tossing them unceremoniously on the all ready cluttered ground. James gave Lily a meaningful look to buy the robes and he'd pay them back later.

James and Sirius turned their backs on the man and strutted out of the shop, smiling smugly. Once they were safely out of the shop, the two best friends burst into laughter, slumping against the wall for support.

Sirius wiped his streaming eyes on the corner of his scarf. "Did you see the look on that fat bloke's face? I thought he was going to explode!"

James nodded in agreement. "Well, we won't be able to get back in there. We'll leave our sad friends to try on clothes. Well, Mr. Padfoot, I suggest that we pay Zonko's a visit."

Sirius smirked. "I would say that that is a very good idea, Mr. Prongs."

The two friends battled their way up the road to the joke shop, which wasn't nearly as crowded. The bell on the door cackled as they pushed it open.

"Good afternoon James and Sirius!" called the Zonko's employee they knew very well, Joe Zonko, the grandson of Mr. Zonko, who started the shop. He was tall and gangly, with red hair that stood straight up on its ends. His eyes had a grazed, mad look, and he wore wide, horn-rimmed glasses. "What'll it be today for our best customers?"

"What have you got, Joe?" asked James in a business-like voice, propping his elbow on the counter as Sirius examined a rack of insulting greeting cards.

"We just got in a new batch of merchandise yesterday," said Joe excitedly, rubbing his hands together. "More Dungbombs and stink pellets, and some new stuff as well that I think are very cool…" Joe busted around the shop, pointing out all the new merchandise. "We've got these apples that you give your teacher. You'll have to have Remus pull off this one. The teacher's won't eat anything you blokes give them. Where are Remus and Peter, anyway?"

"Oh, they're stuck trying on clothes," Sirius said.

"Ah, I see," said Joe sympathetically. "Well, you would have Remus give this to a teacher, see? And as soon as they take a bite, they will be able to say nothing but off-color remarks and profanity for the entire lesson!"

James and Sirius laughed loudly in amusement. "We'll take some of those!"

"Three Galleons a piece," said Joe. "If you like those, then our other stuff will be a real treat… replace the teacher's chalk with this. When they try to write on the board, it will draw crude and insulting caricatures of the teacher who uses the chalk. And if you like that, you have to get the eraser to complete the set. When they try to erase the drawings, it will wipe more chalk dust all over the board. And you can switch the teacher's quill with this, and it will automatically make the teacher give the owners of the quill top marks, no matter how mediocre the work is. And for your enemies we have these tap dancing shoes you can send them and make them look like they're from home. And this potion will make foes think it's in style to wear underwear on their heads and over their trousers."

"We'll take some of each!" said James enthusiastically, pulling out his money bag, and Sirius did the same.

Meanwhile, back at Gladrag's Wizardwear….

"Does this robe make me look fat?" asked Peter, examining himself critically in the mirror. He was wearing a revolting pink dress robe that did not flatter his bulk at all.

Remus shook his head sympathetically. "Of course not, Pete. You look great. I can read up on a spell to change the color, if you would like."

Peter smiled. "Really? That would be great! Thanks, Remus!"

"Or," said Lily smartly. "You can let me try this!" She did a complicated flick with her wrist and Peter's pink robes became more of a maroon color.

"Wow, Lily!" Peter beamed. "Thanks… that's amazing! How'd you do that?"

Lily blushed. "Oh, well, you know…"

Remus smiled warmly at her. "That's really neat, Lily. I'm not surprised, you've always been the best at Charms."

"And Potions!" Peter piped up. "You're always competing with Snape." Lily turned around and covered her face with her hand to hide her smile.

Hannah emerged into the changing rooms. "Come, on boys. You're lucky James isn't here. Stop flattering Lily, and take off those robes so we can pay, get out of here, and find James and Sirius."

"Yes, ma'am," said Remus and Peter together, hanging their heads and tramping back to their changing rooms.

Lily sighed, and muttered, "Boys."

Hannah laughed. "Oh, they're nothing compared to the flattery James and Sirius try,"

"Oh, yeah," Lily sighed. "You remember all of the pathetic love letters and valentines I got from James. 'Your eyes are like great, glistening emeralds, just like the jewel I one day hope to place on your dainty, delicate ring finger. Your hair is like a fire that cannot be tamed,' oh, he was pathetic!"

"Well," said Alice knowingly. "He may have been pathetic, but he got you in the end, didn't he? You should have seen Frank. Remember that time he serenaded me at breakfast? He took that Muggle song for Oscar Meyer wieners and changed the letters for my name. ' My sweetheart has a first name, it's A-L-I-C-E, my sweetheart has a second name it's J-O-N-E-S. I like to see her everyday and when they ask me why I'll say—"

The four girls began to sing along with her, "''Cuz Alice has a way C-H-A-R-M-I-N-G M-E.'" The girls burst into laughter after this just as Remus and Peter emerged.

"I remember that," Remus recalled, his robes over one arm like a waiter would carry a white napkin around. "James, Sirius, and I taught him that song. James and Sirius are quite fond of Muggle television. My mother is a Muggle, and they saw that commercial on our telly. They sang it the rest of the summer after that, and I'm afraid to say I've lost my taste for that jingle."

"I remember that summer," said Peter gloomily. "I didn't get to hang out with you guys all summer because I had dragon pox."

"Oh," said Rachel slowly, realization hitting her. "So that's why you were all green tinted the start of fifth year!"

"Er—yeah," said Peter, looking embarrassed. "The wounds hadn't quite healed yet."

Hilary glanced at her watch. "It's getting late. We have to go pay and find those loons."

They excited the changing room and stood in the back of a line that winded through the store. Lily groaned, "This will take forever!"

"Don't worry," said a voice in Lily's ear. "The loons are here,"

"James!" Lily squealed, turning around. "You're not supposed to be in he—" Lily stopped, surveying James and Sirius with her mouth slightly open. James and Sirius's arms were laden with Zonko's bags. James and Sirius were both wearing wigs. James was wearing a red Muggle clown wig and Sirius had on a long, scraggly blonde wig that resembled the young lead singer of the Weird Sisters. They both were wearing false putty noses that both looked unflatteringly like Snape's hooked nose. James had replaced his square glasses with purple tinted glasses like Elton John's. James was wearing moon boots and knickers, along with a baby blue T-shirt with a yellow duckling. Sirius was wearing a red and white striped shirt with suspenders, like Where's Waldo, and tight, snakeskin pants with combat boots.

"How do we look?" asked Sirius, as he and James struck a pose.

There was a few seconds silence before Remus, Lily, Peter, Hannah, Hilary, Rachel, and Alice burst out laughing. James and Sirius looked most pleased with themselves. "We knew that we couldn't get back in the store," James explained. "So we asked Joe over at Zonko's for disguises. I think he did pretty well, don't you?"

Remus smiled wryly, "It looks like you escaped from a zoo, or a freak show from the circus. Maybe even a mental hospital."

James and Sirius beamed, "That's exactly what we hoped for." Remus noticed that James and Sirius's perfect, straight, white teeth had been covered with false plastic teeth. James had blacked out a few of his teeth so that it appeared as though he were missing several teeth, and Sirius looked like a hillbilly.

Remus chuckled. "I think you can take out the teeth, guys."

"Thank goodness," sighed Sirius, removing the plastic teeth. "It's really hard to talk with these in your mouth." Sirius removed the false teeth, and James wiped the black off his teeth with his sleeve.

"I notice that the line hasn't moved at all," James observed. "We can fix that."

James and Sirius rummaged through their Zonko's bags, extracted some items, and shoved the bags into Remus's arms. "Hold these a minute, will you Moony?" asked Sirius, and he walked away, not waiting for a response.

Sirius held a remote while James put a small speaker in the back of his belt buckle, while holding several small pink discs in his gloved hands.

"What are they doing?" asked Lily, craning her neck to see.

"All ready, Prongs?" asked Sirius, his finger hovering over the buttons on the controller.

"Ready when you are," answered James. "So I'll just walk up the line, dropping these whenever you push the button, got it?"

"Right, mate." Sirius answered. "Go,"

James wandered up the line, and bent over in front of a middle aged woman to pick up a Knut he purposely dropped on the ground. Sirius pushed a button on the remote, and a loud fart was heard from the speaker on James's belt.

"Oh my," said the woman, stepping back as James dropped the Stink Pellet—the most powerful and nauseating that Zonko's had. It was designed to make the victims forget their tasks and leave the area as soon as possible.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, excuse me, ma'am," James apologized, picking up his Knut, as a strong smell of rotten eggs and burnt rubber filled the air. Sirius was laughing so hard that he was leaning on a giggling, but pleasantly happy, third year girl who seemed to be enjoying Sirius's presence, despite his odd looks.

The woman and her daughters left the shop looking disgusted, and the line moved forward a few feet. "It's working," James mouthed, giving Sirius a thumbs up. Sirius nodded, his face very red.

James stood in the center of a group of Hufflepuff girls, and began whistling idly, looking in Sirius's direction, and Sirius pushed another button just as James dropped another Stink Pellet. The girls screamed, and threw up their clothes, squealing and covering their noses, and also ran from the shop. James smirked, and continued up the line, wiping out everyone in sight, Sirius tailing him the whole way. One old woman actually passed out when she heard the flatulence. Finally, they were at the front of the line and were able to make their purchases. The same salesman was surveying James and Sirius as they extracted their Galleons. They had all paid and received their clothes bags when the man snuck up behind James and Sirius and yanked off their wigs from behind, recognizing James's unmistakable messy black hair. He grabbed James and Sirius by the scruffs of their necks and wheeled them around. "I thought," he breathed, his breath hot and smelly in the boy's faces, "that I told you to get out of this shop."

"Yeah—right—about that—" James began, glancing at Sirius, "NOW!" Sirius pushed the button and the loudest fart yet was heard, and James dropped the last Stink Pellet. "Run!"

The nine students hurtled out of the store, while the salesman was left wheezing in a cloud of stink. It was very hard to run through the snow, but they didn't stop until they were standing a hundred yards from the Shrieking Shack, which Remus pointedly avoided looking at.

"Wow," Rachel gasped, as Sirius put his arm around her. "That was so—funny!"

"I haven't laughed that much in a long time," said Hannah appreciatively.

"And it shortened the line," Remus pointed out with a small smile.

James and Sirius pulled off their false noses and tossed them carelessly into the snow. "Well, our mischief has been managed, and I believe that we should head back up to the school," said James.

James and Sirius received very odd looks indeed as they marched up Gryffindor Tower.

"What a day," sighed Sirius as he spread out in his favorite armchair by the fire. He and James had just finished installing an invisible trip wire across the entrance hole for their own entertainment, which Remus had strongly disapproved of, but did not rain punishment upon them with his Prefect powers. And James was Head Boy, so what could he do, anyway?

"There's someone coming!" said Peter excitedly.

A first year boy emerged through the portrait hole, tripped, and fell flat on his face, while James, Sirius, and Peter chuckled in the corner. Remus sighed, and strode across the room to help the boy. "Watch out for that step," said Remus, extending a hand to help the small boy up. The boy hurried away, very pink in the face, and Remus groped around in the thin air until he found the wire, and pulled. It materialized, and Remus grabbed it, stuffing it into his pocket.

"Spoil sport," Sirius muttered as Remus returned.

"Where'd the girls go?" asked Peter keenly, looking around.

"They're showering and doing their nails, you know, girl stuff," James replied. "All we blokes need is some hair gel and some aftershave and we're ready. We're simple folk."

"But for you, Prongs," Sirius pointed out. " I believe a comb is also necessary."

They spent the evening playing Exploding Snap and Wizard's Chess, while reliving the day's events. The girls never returned downstairs. Sirius idly suggested that the seventh year Yule Ball was like a wedding—the groom couldn't see the bride until the day, and they couldn't see their dated until it was time to escort them down the staircase.

James and Sirius snuck into the kitchen, and were gone about an hour, before returning, looking very smug, with eight bottles—four butterbeer and four Firewhiskeys.

"Toss me a Firewhiskey, Petey boy!" yelled Sirius, as they sat cross legged in the Boy's Dorm. Frank and Alice were off for a moonlit stroll, so they had the dorm all to themselves.

James took a swig of Firewhiskey. "You wouldn't believe," he said in a slurred voice. "How greasy Snape is. I mean, we've been over this a hundred—thousand times—but still ruddy—great balls of fire—he is grrrrreasy! I mean, has he ever heard of shampoo?"

"Or sunlight?" Peter suggested.

"Right, my man!" James continued. "He's more pale than you, Moony! Meanin' no offense, mate. But he's like a—a – vampire! Do you think that's possible, Moony? Could he be a vampire?"

"I think that is highly doubtful, James." Said Remus, tapping on his butterbeer bottle thoughtfully.

"No, I think Prongsie has a point," said Sirius, hiccupping loudly. "He looks like a ruddy vampire to me."

"And do you know what I think?" asked Remus.

"What?" said James, Sirius, and Peter together.

"I think," said Remus, slowly and clearly, "That we should call it a night."

Sirius sighed dramatically. "Whatever you say, Moon Man."

"Can I borrow your comb, Moony?" James called. "I lost mine,"

"Oh, I have it," said Sirius, tossing the comb to James, who jumped into the air and caught it triumphantly.

James combed his hair and applied generous amounts of sleeking solution. His hair looked somewhat tamer, but James knew that he would never get the desired look.

Sirius buttoned the cuffs of his sleeves, and surveyed himself in the floor length mirror, looking satisfied. Peter was frowning at his pudgy reflection next to the over confident Sirius. Remus was examining the numerous scars on his face with disdain.

"Look what these women have done to us," laughed Sirius. "We are actually caring about our appearance."

"Yeah, she's amazing, isn't she?" said James dreamily from the bathroom sink.

"Who, Lily?" Sirius called back.

"Yeah," said James, it the same, faraway voice.

"Yep," said Sirius. "You've been womanized."

The four Marauders and Frank stood with the rest of the male population of Hogwarts, age fourteen and up. James was looking wistfully up into the staircase where Lily was about to emerge from. He had a bouquet of roses hidden behind his back. Sirius carefully pulled one elegant rose from the batch and held it behind his back, knowing James was in too much of a daze to mind.

"Look, look!" said James excitedly. "There she is! Isn't she gorgeous?"

Amongst the flock of girls heading down the staircase, Lily could be easily spotted. Her dark red hair was in an elegant bun on the back of her head and several curly strands of red hair framed her face. She was wearing purple eye shadow that brought out her green eyes and made them brighter than ever, especially with her green gown. Rachel, to Sirius, looked stunning. Her black hair framed her pale face, her dark blue eyes were shining, and she was wearing a glittery black gown. Remus's mouth went very dry when he saw Hilary in a pale blue dress with white, elbow length gloves, her hair was pin straight and down to her waist. Peter smiled in disbelief when he was Hannah, the date he never thought he could get, in a vibrant red gown, her dark brown hair in curls.

They each joined up with their dates. James presented a blushing Lily with a bouquet of eleven roses, but she, and James, didn't seem to notice the missing rose. Sirius presented Rachel with the rose, smiling charmingly. They each linked arms with their date and joined the line of couples entering the Great Hall, which had been converted into a winter wonderland. Enchanted snow was falling from the ceiling, and real, glittering fairies floated trough the dimly lit atmosphere, landing in heavily decorated trees. The five tables in the hall had been filled with many round tables, each candlelit, and covered with a glittery white table cloth.

"Isn't it romantic?" Lily gasped, clinging to James's arm as she noticed the live band playing on a stage.

"Shall we dance?" asked James, taking her small hand and leading her gently to the dance floor. He, somewhat awkwardly, placed his hand on her hip, and she put her hand on his shoulder, and they held hands with their right hands, and slowly danced to the peaceful lute solo.

"Would you like to dance?" asked Sirius to Rachel, and he led her smoothly to the dance floor.

Remus shyly looked around the room, anywhere but at Hilary, but he couldn't avoid her any longer when he felt her gloved hand close around his. He turned slowly, and stared into her eyes, trying to find his voice. "W-would you like to dance?" he stammered.

"I'd love to," Hilary replied, and they followed the other couples to the dance floor.

Hannah sighed, seeing the look Peter was giving her, and joined Peter and their friends in the center of the dance floor.

Sirius sighted Remus dancing nearby with Hilary, winked, and gave him a thumbs up. Remus smiled weakly in response.

The song came to an end, and a much faster song began. The eight friends all joined in the middle of the dance floor, and many couples were moving forward, to get the pre-poured drinks from the punch bowl.

"I'm thirsty," Lily said, using her hand as a fan to cool her face. "We're going to go get drinks, okay?"

"No, wait!" exclaimed James, grabbing her wrist. "Just one more dance, please?"

Lily smiled. "All right, James. But let me get some punch first."

"I need a drink, too," said Rachel to Sirius. "I'll be right back with Lily."

"Please, Rachel—stay here, you can wait a song, can't you?"

Lily's eyes narrowed in suspicion, and Remus's eyes widened with realization and shock.

"What did you do to the punch?" asked Lily in a deadly whisper.

"Nothing," said James quickly. "It's just—like – the color of blood! You wouldn't want to drink blood, would you? I'm sure it tastes horrible—"

"You know what," said Lily, waggling her finger at James. "If there's nothing wrong, I'm going to go get a drink."

"No!" James cried, grabbing Lily's shoulders. "Don't drink it."

"What did you do to it?" Lily demanded, but she didn't have to wait for an answer. All around the hall, there were flashes of light, and couples were falling to the ground, shaking.

"Uh-oh," Remus whispered, staring in shock at James and Sirius, "You didn't…"

"We did," said Sirius, in answer to Remus's horrified look, as couples all around began to rise to their feet, looking confused.

Comprehension dawned on Lily. "You two spiked the punch! You put the rest of that potion in there, didn't you?"

James and Sirius nodded guiltily. "So that's why you were at the kitchens so long last night!" Peter piped up.

"I believe we have a confession, Professor Dumbledore." Said Dumbledore as he approached them.

"Oh, really, Minerva, I think it is somewhat brilliant of these young boys," chucked McGonagoll. "A very amusing joke…"

"Dumbledore and McGonagoll switched places!" James whispered to Sirius, laughing.

"As did the rest of the couples. I recall that you turn into the person you stand across from," said McGonagoll. "I once pulled a similar stunt in my years at Hogwarts… brilliant, brilliant…."

All the couples in the hall looked most confused. The girls were boys and the boys were girls. Filch sat in the corner, meowing.

"I think we should be considering a punishment, Albus, not congratulating them," said Dumbledore sternly.

"Oh, I believe they've somewhat learned their lesson, and are now trying to teach it to the rest of the school. This confirms my suspicions about their odd behavior in the past month. They all switched places in the last month. In fact, I think this is a brilliant experiment. The boys and girls have traded places, and will get to find out the true meaning of empathy! Brilliant, boys! Extraordinary! This will help me to understand how the mind of Minerva McGonagoll works, which has always been a mystery to me…"

"I think he's off his rocker," Sirius muttered to James, who nodded.

The end!

A/N: Did you like it? I am finally done with Trading Places, and it sure took me a while to update, I know! I hope that you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I liked writing it. Would anyone else like me to write a story similar to this? Any requests?

Please read and review!

-snickerdoodle131515


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